Schmalz’s obsession with Sal Commeso starts to get scary.

Schmalz hopes some eyeliner will make his hero finally notice him. If not, he’s going to get between Sal and his musette.

Stage 10

July 12, 2005 Baby Claire is here! 9 lbs 8 oz, everyone who has been involved in a birth just said “ouch” to themselves. I don’t have the proper literary skills to express the joy and pride I feel. So let’ just say she’s a little miracle and she’s perfect. Well, then back to this “Tour” thing.

Emma is napping and I’ve got babysitting duty. I have the Tivo fired up, so I don’t have to see Al (start fast forwarding now) Trautwig.

Oh, a protest! We have a classic Tour now, all we need is some spectator interference to make the prototypical Tour.

Let me just type this in now so I can cut and paste it later. Vino attacks! He attacks at the team hotel.

Early break with Laurent “The Mullet” Brochard in it. Don’t give up, Laurent, don’t ever give up – the mullet. Fly it with pride hombre! Funny, there’s no Camaros in France.

Mayo is getting spit out the back at the 80k to go point. He’s calling Alex Zulla on his cell phone.

Kirsten Gum is no Suzy Kolber. Just saying.

As a follow-up to my questions on the thing on Voigt’s saddle, someone said it’s a SRM transmitter. So why didn’t we get the data? Who wouldn’t die to know what kind of wattage he was putting out to be in a Tour break? All we ever get is Vasseur’s HR as he surfs the back of the pack.

Lance interview. Shhh – he’s going to attack.

I’m pressed for time a little so I’ll double arrow it through this early climb and the shots of the break guys grimacing.

Voigt is in trouble on the back of the pack of the climb – and his saddle bag is gone.

If Moreau hangs on, he can get the yellow. At which point, France will collapse from a case of the vapors.

I’ve learned a great new term from Pez Cycling news. The Tour guys call hanging onto the water bottles out of the car “speed bottles.” Nice, that’s better than “argy-bargy.”

Here’s the descent, I’ll scan with two arrows to see if anyone crashes.

I get faked out by Brant’s catch of a rain cape.

The Mullet (pronounced “moo-lay” in French) is off the front on the descent.

Frankie A. has been beaten back into submission after looking at a Specialized the other day and does yet another Trek infomercial.

Popo has a minor crash and hits a team car. Manolo Saiz is conspicuously absent.

Brochard is on the flat and out front, France excitedly calls her mother into the room to watch.

It is 24-hour mullet TV, folks!

Liberty rider Sanchez has caught Brochard, and will not work. France wonders why Spanish guys are such jerks.

9 guys at the front now. Disco is at the front, time to ride the pain train. Padrnos begins his 200k leadout. Couldn’t CSC be doing this?

Bobby J. interview – he likes bike riding and he’s going to ride today.

Here’s the mountain, let’s see what got some stones today.

You can tell other racers love Voigt, he’s getting pushes from guys on other teams.

Vino is right on Lance’s wheel at the front.

The mullet is dropped from the front! France puts her face in her pillow and screams.

Heras seems to be getting popped off the back, he seems to enjoy having a camera in his ear recording the moment.

Beloki is getting dropped, he’s asking Mayo for Zulle’s number.

CSC starts some attacks, it’s Sastre making a move. Disco doesn’t seem to be panicking and pulls him back as they catch The Mullet.

Moreau is getting popped too. France calls her best friend and weeps into the phone.

Disco is popping guys off left and right. Horner is off the back and dreaming of Redlands.

Cadel Evens is still at the front with his collarbone intact.

Vino goes to the back of the front group. Popo is at the head of the race in front of Lance. Who were those guys wearing Disco jerseys the other day?

Vino doesn’t look good and he’s gapped off. Kloden and Ullrich are still in the front group. I’m sure Vino will appreciate working for both of them.

Lance tells Popo his mama is a wet hound dog and Popo jumps at the front of the race.

Lance is at the front and Basso follows, Lance tries to pull off and Basso would rather walk through Hell in gasoline underwear than pull through.

Not many left at the front. Cadel E. is there as is Rasmussen. Kloden and Ullrich have been dropped and will sprint it out to see who will lead T-Mobile to a minor placing.

Valverde is still in the front. Levi may catch on with 10k to go. Annnnnd there’s the devil- hello Dieter. Isn’t he a little old to be running up a mountain?

Levi catches back on as Evans gets gapped. There’s nowhere to break a collarbone here!

Valverde pulls through for Lance as the hill has a little dip and gives him about 30 seconds rest, thanks so much!

Ullrich now has the “Ullrich suffering” face on. Seems like old times.

Mancebo and Basso are getting dropped. Let’s put the “Basso suffering” face with the “Ullrich suffering” face in the photo album.

Looks like Rasmussen wants to jump and get the win. I don’t know how Mancebo can look Valverde in the face and ask him to work for him at dinner tonight.

French TV still keeps showing Moreau, but I’m not sure anyone cares enough to get upset he’s losing the yellow. He’s no Voeckler.

Kloden gets to pull Ullrich up the hill.

3k to go and it’s a little cat and mouse at the front. You know Lance wants this one bad. No gifts, I believe is the catch phrase.

Just under the kite and Razzy goes because he’s a mountain biker and doesn’t know any better.

I wonder if Lance can outsprint Valverde? I wonder if Lance can outsprint an otter? Or maybe a Lynx?

Lance jumps and we’ll se if Valverde can get around him.

Valverde pulls a Basso 2004 at the line.

Basso in at 1:00, Levi is at 1:13. Ullrich finishes at Monday.