As the Toto Turns 269 January 14, 2013 by Andy Shen Full confession! OMG there was a full confession! 89 Comments Python January 14th, 2013 @ 6:09 PM I love you Lance. Makes my day to know you are doing the right thing. Forget what the Race Radio says just do your own thingie. My love for you never stops throbbing. Dong Work For Yuda January 14th, 2013 @ 7:18 PM Both sides of the argument, just furiously masturbating away… Samuel Grips January 14th, 2013 @ 9:15 PM The moral in cycling has changed so quickly during the last decade. In all sports they have been using peds and especially in cycling. Arthur Linton supposedly did strychnine and nitroglycerine with help of the Ferrari of his time, or more recent Indurain and Boonen? Cycling has always been a shady sport. Races have been sold. The strongest did not always win. A sport of the catholics and not of the protestants. A sport of competitive forgiveness not of competitive moralism. We want a simplification of the truth in what is good and what is bad. Unfortunately Lance took it to main street and put it in the hands of wall street. Now it seems every cyclist is being held accountable for a century of romanticism. For a decade he lied about it, bullied others using his cycling millions to keep his empire alive. Now it is time to milk the last bit of juice out of this story while he’s at Oprah’s couch. Wonder if Oprah is going to ask about his cancer. What’s next. Betsie and Lance at Jerry Springer? Schmirnov January 14th, 2013 @ 9:30 PM I don’t know, designer leather sectionals can really get pricey….. monorchid conconi January 14th, 2013 @ 10:58 PM This breed of llama became extinct long ago, because both ends could eat, but neither was able to poop. Remi Stiff January 14th, 2013 @ 11:29 PM This whole Orca, I mean Oprah thing is just another silly page from the Lance Gunderson playbook. Only a gullible, lonely fool would believe that Lance would be able to suddenly transform himself into a real human being and be able to honestly confess to anything resembling the truth. Btw, Toto for president! Mathias Locknut January 15th, 2013 @ 12:49 AM Lance with JV sideburns in panel one. So, So Supple January 15th, 2013 @ 2:32 AM I’m just not sure which one deserves it most. Hamza Torque January 15th, 2013 @ 2:54 AM at this point – armstrong media ban, i mean its all bullshit now, controlling media, can i pay for you guys to never type armstrong again? FB January 15th, 2013 @ 3:57 AM Any bet it’s going to be an emotion based interview? Let’s see how many times Johan or UCI are mentioned. Do you think he took her to the Yellow Rose for lunch? Alessandro Pinchbolt January 15th, 2013 @ 5:11 AM Toto to the Smithsonian. Sporgen Usnuts January 15th, 2013 @ 3:29 PM Tom..is that you?? Cheatto Winfrey January 15th, 2013 @ 3:43 PM Jules Clamp to Bellevue Marius Skidmark January 15th, 2013 @ 4:11 PM Don’t bogart that joint my friend Cheatto Winfrey January 15th, 2013 @ 5:23 PM http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324734904578241801441261928.html?mod=WSJ_article_comments#articleTabs%3Dcomments Also, on ESPN radio this morning, Peter Flax, editor of Bicycling seemed more interested in protecting his magazines bottom line than being candid about Lance while Velo’s editor Neal Rodgers cleary hit the nail on the head by acknowleging the good that Lance did for the sport yet also clearly doing more to destroy it. Aaron Brifter January 15th, 2013 @ 5:47 PM “All, I’m saying is that if Lance admits to doping his entire career. I say show me the proof. Otherwise, it is just heresay. And if you believe that Lance is a liar and he lied about not doping before, how do you not know that he is lying about doping now?” Lapo Ferrule January 15th, 2013 @ 5:59 PM Truth be told, still would have been kept a “dirty little secret” if it were not for the USADA. Shame on him for misleading the world. Logan Tubie January 15th, 2013 @ 6:55 PM Truth be told, still would have been kept a “dirty little secret” if it were not for him being such a dick tomdabeast January 15th, 2013 @ 7:14 PM There was a time in cycling when there was limit to how much a cyclist could receive dollar wise, here in America.I think the limit was $2,000 and boy that was big big money. Most of the time you received a medal, and maybe a little prize money and you would grind your teeth and gears for a few bucks for those primes. I think once the money started pooring into cycling it greated a monster. tomdabeast January 15th, 2013 @ 7:16 PM There was a time in cycling when there was limit to how much a cyclist could receive dollar wise, here in America.I think the limit was $2,000 and boy that was big big money. Most of the time you received a medal, and maybe a little prize money and you would grind your teeth and gears for a few bucks for those primes. I think once the money started pooring into cycling it greated a monster. Jules Clamp January 15th, 2013 @ 10:26 AM Lance Armstrong is innocent. How do I know this? Simple. We are in phase of unprecedented evolution of consciousness for humanity, the Earth and all life . Any true ‘lightworker’ knows how to ‘read energy’ underlying any spoken, or written word. It can be deciphered through the amazing ‘truth meter’ available to everyone within their own being; a filter of divine frequencies of light, energy, essence and love within the heart core; the divine within us all. When we enter this sacred space we resonate with the vibration frequencies of the highest levels of divine, unconditional love. When we ask a question and intend to know the answer that is the highest of truth, there can be no deception, because there is no fear-based consciousness in divinity – only love-based consciousness. This way of being and doing is the ‘modus operandi’ of right-brain attributes; intuition, creativity, subjectivity, and much more. Right brain method is global, whole/holistic way of access. Left-brain is linear functioning; logic and reasoning. One could pose that left-brain only uses half the brain, while right-brain uses all the brain! As humanity evolves and changes to more whole-brain functioning (interestingly, dolphins are whole-brain functioning mammals), we access more of the skills, abilities, gifts and talents within us for creative pursuits that benefit us, and all life, in a way which and brings us joy; our birthright as human beings to fulfill our unlimited potential. Lance is an example of fulfilling an inspirational life of purpose. Lance has beaten cancer (‘Can-seer’). There are interests that do not like this; so he has been targeted. Mind control methods, financial reward and blackmail can induce ‘witnesses’ to act and speak to predetermined scripts. Lance has been wise to not engage in any ill-founded debate. It only adds energy to his detractors. Maybe now is the right time to address this for him, as the light has expanded exponentially, and continues to do so. mrvelro January 15th, 2013 @ 10:58 AM wtf Jordan Tank January 15th, 2013 @ 7:25 PM ACTION Dear kindly Oprah Winfrey, You gotta understand, It’s just our bringin’ up-fe That gets us out of hand. Our mothers all are junkies, Our fathers all are drunks. Golly Moses, natcherly we’re punks! ACTION AND JETS Gee, Oprah Winfrey, we’re very upset; We never had the love that ev’ry child oughta get. We ain’t no delinquents, We’re misunderstood. Deep down inside us there is cash! ACTION There is cash! ALL There is cash, there is cash, There is untapped cash! Like inside, the worst of us has cash! SNOWBOY: (Spoken) That’s a touchin’ good story. ACTION: (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world! SNOWBOY: Just tell it to the judge. ACTION Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough. With all their EPO, They won’t give me a puff. They didn’t wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin’ lizards! That’s why I’m so bad! DIESEL: (As Judge) Right! Oprah Winfrey, you’re really a square; This boy don’t need a judge, he needs an analyst’s care! It’s just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He’s psychologic’ly disturbed! ACTION I’m disturbed! JETS We’re disturbed, we’re disturbed, We’re the most disturbed, Like we’re psychologic’ly disturbed. DIESEL: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain’t had a normal home. ACTION: (Spoken) Hey, I’m depraved on account I’m deprived. DIESEL: So take him to a headshrinker. ACTION (Sings) My father is a bastard, My ma’s an S.O.B. My grandpa’s always plastered, My trainer pushes tea. My sister wears a mustache, My manager wears a dress. Goodness gracious, that’s why I’m a mess! A-RAB: (As Psychiatrist) Yes! Oprah Winfrey, you’re really a slob. This boy don’t need a doctor, just a good honest job. UCI’s played him a terrible trick, And sociologic’ly he’s sick! ACTION I am sick! ALL We are sick, we are sick, We are sick, sick, sick, Like we’re sociologically sick! Giacamo Brifter January 15th, 2013 @ 9:29 PM Man, now that he’s confessed what are these comics gonna do! Baldo Wave Ring January 15th, 2013 @ 9:49 PM A better question is whats this site going to do! schmalz January 15th, 2013 @ 10:12 PM Back to hot sandbagging talk, my friends. Victor Biopace January 15th, 2013 @ 10:54 PM who or what is the person in the background of the last frame? creepy. Andy Shen January 15th, 2013 @ 11:00 PM http://www.thefrisky.com/photos/19-female-celebs-whove-donned-fat-suits/fat-suit-tyra-banks/ Rosso Bushing January 16th, 2013 @ 2:25 PM SO……who’s SHITTING now?….Steve Johnson,……DYLAN CASEY….. TOM Weisel….. AMGEN….. Bristol Meyer Squib……Johan Bruynell.. where ARE YOU….come out come out and play . PATTY Mc…..Darth Verbruggen. AND lets not forget the person who is Way beyond a facilitator…… CHRIS CHARMICHAEL…… welcome to truth of Consequences…………… Simon Steerer January 16th, 2013 @ 2:53 PM Smug aloofness somehow perfectly translated by over use of …. Remi Fork January 16th, 2013 @ 3:32 PM Now dan’nAndi will be revealed. they are a fraud and have nothing to add after Lance schmalz January 16th, 2013 @ 3:36 PM I’m flattered that people think we have something to add right now. Remi Limit Screw January 16th, 2013 @ 4:15 PM I for one would welcome a beer review about now take dat January 16th, 2013 @ 5:32 PM nice! hosting a series in pp?! all you people whining about them can suck it Mathias Bushing January 16th, 2013 @ 6:37 PM Sweet! Will the top prizes include a coupon to pay over MSRP for products? Mathias Bushing January 16th, 2013 @ 6:38 PM Or how about a coupon for really lousy customer service? Oh wait, you can get both of those things without having to even race. Winner! schmalz January 17th, 2013 @ 8:30 PM OK, setting up the paywall right now Sam Stiff January 17th, 2013 @ 8:56 PM choose your tyranny: haters or fans Thomas Headset January 17th, 2013 @ 9:57 PM Just replace “Armstrong” with “Wiggins” and we can start all over again. “Wot you doin’..I’m bustin’ me arse 6 hours a day.” Noe Supple January 18th, 2013 @ 6:05 AM of Toto’s material? DA 9000 January 18th, 2013 @ 6:51 AM “I’m sorry, Oprah, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” bikesoverthemoon January 16th, 2013 @ 6:20 AM …far out, man, that’s heavy…glad you laid it on us & i can totally dig it… …these toto dorks are usually cool but they need to hang loose instead of freakin’ out just ‘cuz you’re so enlightened, man… …don’t sweat it & don’t get bummed out, dude…i dig your groovy aura… …like, with peace & love, bgw… bikesoverthemoon January 16th, 2013 @ 4:56 AM …someone exposed that lying, cheating, two faced beatch for what she really is & thank god we had lance gunderson & the “L” show to do it… …i heard every audience member found a folding dahon bike under their seat after the show… …with appreciation & a love of truth, bgw… Adam Stiff January 17th, 2013 @ 1:58 PM Lance Armstrong killed Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend. Richard Simmons January 17th, 2013 @ 4:37 PM Lance to announce he will be Oprah’s new personal trainer. Mateo Dropout January 17th, 2013 @ 5:06 PM Lance to Mengoni. Elias Gel January 17th, 2013 @ 5:06 PM And Hincapie to join him. Full circle, boys! whoever January 17th, 2013 @ 5:12 PM one last punch of the (shit)bag that is fakestrong: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/interactive/2013/jan/17/lance-armstrong-oprah-interview-bingo Setscrew January 17th, 2013 @ 7:10 PM If you don’t resurrect the TdS for a blow-by-blow account of the Oprah show, I’m boycotting this fucking site forever. schmalz January 17th, 2013 @ 7:26 PM Live blogging the Doprah is played out Elias Gel January 17th, 2013 @ 7:32 PM Oh come on, call it your Armstrong adieu, or in the words of Bob Roll, your “Fee-Nall-Eee.” Jacopo Seatmast January 17th, 2013 @ 3:57 AM Your criticisms fo R&A MIGHT be true, but if there is a specific hard to find part you are looking for, chances are R&A will have the part in the size and color you want. You will pay more, but you get more. Thomas Kevlar January 18th, 2013 @ 4:42 AM I never called you fat. Alessandro Fork January 18th, 2013 @ 5:01 AM You’ve disgraced the color yellow. Hot tubE January 21st, 2013 @ 4:41 PM Carmichael was not Armstrong’s coach for the tdf. That was a business relationship to grow Carmichael’s company while paying licensing fees to Armstrong. I’m pretty sure Ferarri was Lance’s coach every year he raced pro. Maybe Carmichael was his coach at one time many many years ago. Adam Plug January 22nd, 2013 @ 1:02 AM http://trainright.com/camps/spring-training-camps/ Quentin Internal Routing January 23rd, 2013 @ 6:02 PM Thomas Dekker claims that he will be telling the full story about his doping, his enablers and everyone else he has seen with dope including the names on the plus 150 bags of blood, his doc Mr Fuentes, who he has seen 5 times, had seen. The list of names includes Ivan Basso, Alejandro Valverde and of course Alberto Contador. It will include not only names, but data en details as well. He will confessing will to the Dutch doping authority which is run by Herman Ram. Phil Meallup January 23rd, 2013 @ 6:11 PM Lance screwed over Frankie Andreu yet it seems for the most part that Betsy is the outspoken one. Why is she doing most of the talking and why not Frankie himself? Andy Shen January 23rd, 2013 @ 6:30 PM Frankie has to stay employed? Big Tex January 23rd, 2013 @ 7:46 PM Love the fat suit shot of Tyra Banks . . . PS – Lance is innocent, damn it! Opps, did he confess already? Lukas Bushing January 17th, 2013 @ 6:08 AM Hey Andy and Dan, why is that the classifieds doesn’t show the real new items for sale ow whatever on the “new classifieds” section ??? all the classifieds now are from january 2012 ???? thanks…. DG January 18th, 2013 @ 7:25 PM 9pm- Lance and Oprah part 2 Nevada Smiths-125 East 11th St (btwn 3rd and 4th Ave) Quentin Internal Routing January 18th, 2013 @ 7:28 PM Did he just say that Winfrey was fat? Goro Polished January 18th, 2013 @ 9:35 PM lance making fat jokes in front of t.v.’s most weight-sensitive personality: priceless. Jarne Hammer January 18th, 2013 @ 9:59 PM not even his mouth was big enough for that foot. pt 2 could prove to be brutal Sacha Saddlesore January 18th, 2013 @ 10:10 PM I’ve always hated the UCI. Really. I have. Goro Polished January 18th, 2013 @ 10:38 PM maybe tonight lance will bring over a bucket of magnolia bakery banana pudding, smear it all over himself and roll around with oprah. now that’s tv worth watching. Marco Seatmast January 18th, 2013 @ 11:34 PM Did you notice Lance checking out Oprah’s Ta-Tas? I bet he was imagining how they would look on his latest baby-mama. Goro Polished January 19th, 2013 @ 5:33 AM Lance could really use some Ugg boots right about now. bikesoverthemoon January 19th, 2013 @ 10:09 PM …i certainly feel better about that young man now that i’ve seen the warmth, contrition & sincerity emanating from his exposed & obviously ‘oh so honest’ soul… …trying not to choke over the love, bgw… Logan Axle January 19th, 2013 @ 10:53 PM PERFECT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlTr2GSVUGg&feature=youtu.be Quentin Internal Routing January 20th, 2013 @ 12:27 PM Many Rabobank cyclists are now admitting systematic doping in their team since 1996 and getting the necessary assistance from doctors to do so. They say the doping scheme was run top down. ‘Doping was a way of life for them according to Thomas Dekker. Apparently Rasmussen was doing the 2007 tour, the one he got pulled out of b/c of his whereabouts, on 5 bags of blood, 100,000 units of EPO, testosterone and cortico’s. Rabobank and Rasmussen are still in court regarding a 5.8 million euro settlement. Amine Bottle January 20th, 2013 @ 2:51 PM Now I know why Rabobank has been systematically paying lousy interest on my savings account. The $’s been going to make the chicken fly faster. Sad. Guess I’ll have to put my money at Saxo Bank…. Quentin Internal Routing January 20th, 2013 @ 5:42 PM Just a couple of names of Rabo cyclist that came ‘clean’ over the last few days. Danny Nelissen, Mark Lotz, Thomas Dekker. Many others have already confessed they worked with peds dealer Stefan Matschiner (Humanplasma)including Michael Boogerd, and most likely Joost Posthuma and Pieter Weening. Matschinger was according to Rudy Pevenage, Jan Ullrich ex manager, the one to go to if you could not get Dr Fuentes to work with you. Erik Dekker was not aloud to start because of a 52% hematocrit level during UCI World Championship in Verona (1999). Rory Sutherland got a 9 month ban for using Clomiphene in 2006. Rabobank suspended Carlos Barredo because of internal (doping) violations -a doping team with doping ethics? Dennis Menchov worked for years together with Ferrari. Levi Leipheimer admitted he used doping during his Rabo years. This is just a start the list goes on and on.. Salvestro Threadlock January 20th, 2013 @ 6:43 PM what about carmichael? i bet he was the actual source of all drugs for pharmstrong. http://www.gazette.com/articles/carmichael-149946-armstrong-coach.html Monorchid Conconi January 20th, 2013 @ 9:09 PM Lance has got a quick hand. He’ll look around the room, he wont tell you his plan. He’s got a rolled cigarette hanging out his mouth. He’s a cowboy kid. https://www.youtube.com/embed/3AqcfzfCVUg Victor Biopace January 20th, 2013 @ 10:11 PM Armstrong had the chance to live honest, instead he chose to lie strong! Dr. Phil January 20th, 2013 @ 10:50 PM Armstrong had the chance to father a child with Kate Hudson, Sheryl Crow, and Ashley Olsen, but he didn’t. He chose Safesexstrong! Goldman Sachs January 22nd, 2013 @ 4:41 PM For Lance Armstrong and John Eustice https://twitter.com/maxkeiser/status/290901798921854976 Rinieri O-Ring January 22nd, 2013 @ 10:22 PM ScheiÃŸestrong. Nathan Wave Ring January 23rd, 2013 @ 9:23 PM This is what I’m talking about. This is John Eustice’s clan. These are the same people who were kicked out of the City of San Francisco for not paying their bills (research it yourself on Google SFGate). Birds of a feather! Philadelphia is such a loser city that they are actually trying to help these crooks! http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/20130123_Bike-race_organizers_owe_Philly__321_000_for_2012_event.html Leon Chainline July 7th, 2014 @ 6:12 PM Wait a minute, are you sure the NJBA doesn’t run this race? Ryan Locknut January 18th, 2013 @ 3:40 AM Did you ever have a transvaginal mesh? bikesoverthemoon January 23rd, 2013 @ 11:21 PM …lance armstrong is thought to be suffering from ‘stockholm syndrome’ after his “confession” (bwahaha) to oprah winfrey… …sez lance – “i wanna marry that woman & help her get that weight thing under control…besides, we’re two of the biggest, savviest stars in the infotainment biz…”… …can you feel the love, bgw… Seppe Egopower January 26th, 2013 @ 2:46 PM Did I read that you guys were selling them? I’d like two please. Seriously. take dat January 26th, 2013 @ 3:11 PM me too!! Quentin Internal Routing February 4th, 2013 @ 2:40 PM 6 years of systematic doping in spanish premier league club linked to Fuentes http://futbol.as.com/futbol/2013/02/04/primera/1359939333_219986.html Michele Uptube February 4th, 2013 @ 3:38 PM I think a better question is what sport at the highest level DOESN’T have doping, or even at amateur levels. Let’s be realistic, it’s human nature to cheat, not only in sports, but in life, work, etc… Amyfge July 7th, 2014 @ 12:26 PM TOTOs have always been my favorite. I love the way you present the news and incidents related to racing in comic way. This timeâ€™s TOTO regarding the confessions was interesting. Thanks a lot for sharing this TOTO. Please keep on sharing. click here Comments are closed.