As the Toto Turns 268

Venomous Hog takes to Poison Pen

Venomous Hog takes to Poison Pen


Benjamin Chamois

I wonder if Johan was doping during his career. He was with Once for years….
AKA Doping Central

monorchid conconi

When I first came to Spoon River
I did not know whether what they told me
Was true or false.
They would bring me the epitath
And stand around the shop while I worked
And say “He was so kind,” “He was so wonderful,”
“She was the sweetest woman,” “He was a consistent Christian.”
And I chiseled for them whatever they wished,
All in ignorance of the truth.
But later, as I lived among the people here,
I knew how near to the life
Were the epitaths that were ordered for them as they died.
But still I chiseled whatever they paid me to chisel
And made myself party to the false chronicles
Of the stones,
Even as the historian does who writes
Without knowing the truth,
Or because he is influenced to hide it.

Fancy Lion

Hog intimidating witnesses and flashing a passing familiarity with Proust? Toto has never seemed at once more realistic and less true to life. Nice job with the Monty Python background.

Simon Limit Screw

Hog: Bottle, remember when I had to stash all our Acto-whatever under your booster seat at the French border?
Bottle: “Yeah Hog! Thanks for the kickback at the TOC!!!…Ohhhh, I mean, what are you talking about?”

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