As the Toto Turns 259

The 5ive

The 5ive

27 Comments

Thibaut Seatmast

Freaking hilarious! Switching numbers with TF and his subsequent takeouts, that’s funniest s*&t i’ve seen in a long time.

Bernardi Compliant

Can’t wait for Wonderboy’s response! Will he fight and risk having all revealed, or will he tuck tail and hide? I doubt he’ll hide.

BURN IT DOWN. BURN IT ALL DOWN.

Paolo Compliant

You don’t 69 The Badger. You just 9 his manly bottom while he 6es the finish line – ahead of you.

Luca Hammer

Best Toto in a couple of years. VdV and Hincapie get the best lines. Shoulda stuck Hinault in there with the Badger and DZ…

Rim Job

seeing how early he got dropped in today’s stage, leipheimer must’ve agreed to stop doping as part of his usada deal as well

Pseudonymous

“This Court is not inclined to indulge Armstrong’s desire for publicity, self-aggrandizement or vilification of Defendants, by sifting through eighty mostly unnecessary pages in search of the few kernels of factual material relevant to his claims… Contrary to Armstrong’s apparent belief, pleadings filed in the United States District Courts are not press releases, internet blogs, or pieces of investigative journalism. All parties, and their lawyers, are expected to comply with the rules of this Court, and face potential sanctions if they do not.”

Back to the drawing board, Fabiani!

Baldo Ziptie

“I won’t take a pill but my eye’s swollen shut!” Way to dig deep in the JV vault.

Bernardo Polished

Nowhere do we read stuff like “why doesn’t BigTex stop wasting money on lawyers and PR hacks that could go towards curing cancer?” Will they televise the arbitration hearings? THAT I would pay to see!!!!

Paolo Compliant

If only there was some big cycling event going on that Toto could kind of touch upon…

Lukas Wave Ring

The mighty Brits have a shitty race because their tactics were terrible (no Sean Yates on the radio) and whine about everyone racing against them. Not to mention Phil Ligget complaining about the loss of some track races. Waaaaaaaaaaaa. Go Vino! Attack and win like a man, don’t sit in like the rider from the Isle of Man.

Dorian Headbadge

Next: Armstrong visits “Recall” and finally finds out that he’s been doping and deceiving the public for a decade. Armstrong seeks redemption on a trip to Mars. It was never Lance’s fault, it was the brain butchers at the UCI (“MCQUAID!!!!!!!!!!!”) who was the evil mastermind.

Marius Clamp

I’m starting to wonder if the UCI stepped in and claimed jurisdiction over cycling humor. It’s been a long time since the last Toto.

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