schmalz's log 2012 part 17

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 11:57am by schmalz

Since racing begins next weekend, this will be the last log entry of this winter's training season, and to be honest, this moment could not have come soon enough for me. Simply put, I am tired of writing about my bike riding. I, like most of the people reading this log (except for those jerks who can get away to go to bike training camps—screw you guys—seriously, screw you guys), tend to ride the same roads over and over again. And if this route repetition makes for monotonous training, it also makes for tremendously tedious writing. In fact, I am so tired of training, that I am actually considering doing a Spring Series race, but I am sure I will come to my senses before that ever happens.

I use this log as an annual personal public "Successories"-style shame poster to keep my winter weight in check, to make sure I keep riding my bike and to help keep the site from being overrun by Eastern European Ugg link comments and trojan horse story contributions about ways to control pest populations. I admit that at times it seems that I have complex and contradictory feelings about something as simple as going outside and pedaling my bike, but at my advanced age, I'm starting to have contradictory feelings about many things: cardigans, push-ups, painting my mail box—why should riding my bike be spared the same scrutiny?

The fact of the matter is that I'm at the stage in my bike "career" where every season I am forced to wonder, "Am I old now?" When I was younger the reaction in my mind to certain physical challenges was one of certitude—"I can do that". As you get older these reactions get qualified and downgraded, right now I'm operating at the level of "I can still do that". Granted, circumstances have to be right and I can't be too tired and I will most certainly pay for it later, but in most circumstances, I can still do things. The scary issues for me is what's lurking around the corner, the circumstances that take my declaration of "I can still do that" and demotes it to "I can't do that anymore" or the even more depressing—"I used to be able to do that". "I used to be able to do that" is especially sad to me because the simple utterance of that phrase would seem to be and admission that my best years are long gone, and the guy you are talking to right now is not nearly as interesting as he was five years ago.

But all is not lost. I have been riding enough to cultivate a cautious optimism towards this upcoming season, granted I don't have the time nor means to go to a training camp (again, I reiterate, screw you guys), but all the metrics I use to evaluate myself: wattages during certain benchmark efforts, weight, poop size—seem to be adequate for another season of pretend bike racing. I have built up the winter veneer of delusion that is necessary to carry myself through any early season trouncing at the hands of the guys who went to training camps (see "screw you guys" declarations from above), and I can declare with a slightly mincing conviction that indeed, I can still do this.

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I think these boys have way
By: power
Tue, 02/28/2012 - 9:03pm

I think these boys have way too much money to waste, power meters, Di2 shifting, blah blah and blah.

Poop size
By: Sander Ziptie
Tue, 02/28/2012 - 3:38pm

The test of truth

Wattz up, BRO.
By: Dylan Clamp
Tue, 02/28/2012 - 2:50pm

Wattz up, BRO.

why do you pay?
By: Guido Clearcoat
Tue, 02/28/2012 - 2:05pm

If you are analyzing your power files, why do you need a coach? That's their job.

Is it wrong to tell the kids
By: Galleazzo Tracknut
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 10:27pm

Is it wrong to tell the kids I can't help with homework in the evening, since I'm busy downloading and analyzing power files for my coach?

both are pretty funny...I
By: Logan Tank
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 10:10pm

both are pretty funny...I like to complain about all of my responsibilities which prevent me from getting results, bro, & i do know a lot of racers who are good but will never be pros who neglect their careers and their relationships for racing which is also kind of pathetic.

face it, in this sport, you can't win.

Knoll, seems he was kidding,
By: Danato Asshat
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 6:05pm

Knoll, seems he was kidding, too.

Seems he was kidding Doc.
By: Grassy Knoll
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 3:15am

Seems he was kidding Doc.

cliff's notes: i'm single and
By: dr. phil
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 12:08am

cliff's notes: i'm single and kinda creepy, but i have di2 on all my bikes and no screaming kids or bitchy wife to deal with, so i got that going for me.

Unless you just have the pure
By: Sam Clamp
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 11:33pm

Unless you just have the pure good character, awesome looks and personality to be able to charm a wife and raise kids and excel at your job with out really trying, then all your life choices factor into being able to raise a family and be a constant bread winner. As a semi full time racer who is spending inordinate sums on bikes, entry fees and wheels, as well as most of my available time training and racing I can tell you its frustrating to have to compete for child bearing, wife worthy women against you "marriage minded", good looking, gainfully employed "father types". I force myself to stay awake to finish an evening date at the Spotted Pig and a movie on a race night, try to pretend I know who the Oscar nods are, and purposefully add other things besides Universal Sports Cycling to my DVR so it appears as though I have interests outside of cycling. I do it because I love getting laid, and I'd like to think that maybe one day I too could have a family, but the truth is, I'm kind of out of the hunt. These are MY choices - i made them and live with them everyday. At times I'm not happy with some of my decisions, especially on a particularly long dry-spell, when the internet is down and I can't get youporn.com on my phone, but that's life and I wouldn't trade mine for anything. The next time I head out trolling I could get shot down in red hot flames of rejection when I try to buy that pretty "wife worthy" girl a drink, and then it will be another long hard recovery - that's also life. But I've got my racing and I love it.

So what if one you asshole "nice guy" types win the genetic lottery and gets to knock up the pretty girl...so be it.

You can't believe the toll
By: Yanis Rivnut
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 9:43pm

You can't believe the toll partying, staying out late, and having sex with so many different chicks takes on a guy. No sympathy from me family guy

Yo efes
By: Lorenzo Seattube
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 8:36pm

if you are so time strapped why dont you stop checking this site and go play with your kids

seriously why is it that all the old dudes think they are supposed to write their stories of heartache and suffering on this site. What are we supposed to say in response? If you are so happy about your choices why did you come onto this website to bitch?

Save your catharsis for your Hello Kitty Diary.

T-Ball Reference
By: Kyllian Brazeon
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 8:02pm

whomever had 2/24 for the first T-Ball reference regarding CP racing, you win!
Still active are;
CRCA is the equivalent of Co-ed softball. (over/under is 4/1/12) and
NYC racing is like a bowling league (over/under is 5/15)
as well as my personal favorite
________ (the winner of any March race) took it way too seriously as these are only training races. (over/under is 3/12)

By: Quentin Flange
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:43am


By: Diego Grips
Sat, 02/25/2012 - 4:00am

T-ballWerx training camp! $5000

By: Lapo Clamp
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 11:03pm

VO T-BALL MAX OUT! Results...bro.

Efes: we hereby anoint thee
By: Pierre Seattube
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 10:12pm

Efes: we hereby anoint thee as First Sandbagger of 2012.

In your face! I am totally a
By: schmalz
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 8:43pm

In your face! I am totally a better cat three than you (unless you are Jamaul Nichols).

Its all degrees...
By: Efes
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 8:32pm

Unless you just have pure natural talent, then all your life choices factor into performance. As a fully employed full time member of the workforce, married father of two and with local family and friends I can tell you that it can be frustrating to compete against single, fatherless, reclusive, "semi-pro" obsessive cyclists. I get up at 5:30am, exhaust myself on weekend rides and struggle to stay awake during family time. I do it, because I love the sport and I I'm addicted to it. These are MY choices - I made and live with them. At times I regret some of my decisions and at others I wouldn't trade them for anything. That's life - a delicate balance. I could get squashed on my next ride or go down in the first race next week - that's also life. So I enjoy riding with passion. I love my family. I feel fortunate.

So if one of you losers beats me...so be it.

"again, I reiterate"
By: Adam Liner
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 7:21pm

(again, I reiterate, screw you guys)

ironic T-ball
By: Mini Me-Ball
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:07pm

from: http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2009/04/02/who-...

"It's for all the people who want to play softball, but really suck at it. And here's the great part—teams are only allowed to use kid sized tee-ball equipment (except for maybe gloves)."

mini T-ball for the slow-pitched challenged...

Fizik microtex on t-ball bat
By: Noa Helmet
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:23pm

Fizik microtex on t-ball bat handle.

Get a GRIP, BRO.

T-ball tournaments to soon
By: schmalz
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:21pm

T-ball tournaments to soon supplant the adult kick ball leagues in Brooklyn?

By: Dino Ferrari
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:18pm

is the new doping.

T-ball camp, bro! GET
By: Sammy Sosa
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 3:54pm

T-ball camp, bro! GET RESULTS.

Q: What does this post have
By: mikeweb
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 3:45pm

Q: What does this post have in common with the movie 'City Slickers'?

Answer to come later...

Do you know where I can find
By: schmalz
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 3:33pm

Do you know where I can find this t-ball camp?

winter training camp, for
By: Benjamin Skidmark
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 3:21pm

winter training camp, for central park racing? seriously? is that like taking secret training lessons for t-ball?

Meh - you obviously don't
By: schmalz
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 3:17pm

Meh - you obviously don't have a facebook account because you would be inundated with smug training camp updates, I like to call them smug-dates.

I've always wondered how many
By: meh
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 2:56pm

I've always wondered how many psychos there are who actually do attend those out of town training camps. Given the number of riders who manage to tear legs off at March races despite the fact that it's still late winter in the Northeast, there must be quite a few.

Not quite yet, those masters
By: schmalz
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 1:08pm

Not quite yet, those masters are catty!

foreshadowing a move to
By: ...
Fri, 02/24/2012 - 1:01pm

foreshadowing a move to masters racing?

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  • schmalz's log 2010 part 5 -

    On cannot ride on water and mightiness alone, and as I age, I find that I have to pay more attention to my nutritional needs, lest I become an empty husk of veiny gristle.

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