one of the best comment threads i've read in a while (i don't know why it's so funny when people get attacked for bad grammar but it is)...
between the comment thread and the TOTO i almost peed my pantaloons
"However a plan to manipulate the media is far beyond this guy."
It was a sarcastic bit that was meant to capture the mindset of the lance haters. You guys are New Yorkers, I thought you'd get the sarcasm. He clearly has been able to manipulate the media, because he has very convincingly controlled the telling of his story.
Don't get so sensitive about the lazy brains comment... Geez!
I don't have a hard-on for Lance. However, I also don't hate him. You guys are all extremes. If you don't hate him, then you have to love him. *rolls eyes*
You really think there's going to be a discussion of actual thoughts? If there is... it'll be the first one on NY Velocity... ever.
10:59 am: "4-on-a-side squirrel football." this morning driving to work I found a confused, tired, frantic, scared squirrel with his head stuck in a blizzard container running in circles in the middle of the street. his fur looked like the pink panther's when he came out of the dryer. so I pulled over and yanked it off for him. he was thrilled, and my good deed was done for the day. which reminds me:
11:46pm (née 9:04am, 10:10am): jesus. listen, guy, we tried diligently to understand you so we could have a friendly chat but, frankly, it's impossible.
you wrote: "However, a plan to manipulate the media ... is far beyond the abilities of this guy" and in the same paragraph (corrected for the sweet negative^3) "It would make sense to believe that Armstrong is capable of this."
so we'd love to respond to your point, broseph(ine), but seriously - what the f*ck was it? is manipulating the media "far beyond" Armstrong's abilities or he is "capable of it?"
and then - to add insult to injury - you had the sheer audacity to engage in name-calling by referring to us as "lazy brains" unable to not get beyond your unlazified grammar.
so, mate, do us a favor. call it a do-over down, pull your head out of your ass (or blizzard container), re-type a coherent thought and then we'll chat. we can have civil discourse, but not if you're going to throw around monikers like "lazy brain." at least the squirrel was grateful. i try and pull the grammatical blizzard container off your head, and you try to f-cking bite me. worse than a rodent!
11:48 am: "grammer police." trying to bait me by missspelling grammar, eh? Not biting sucka ... nice try.
of sports in Texas:
1) College Football
2) Pro Football
3) Imigrant hunting
4) Imigrant throwing
5) Find the missing tooth
6) High School Football
7) Baseball
8) Basketball
9) Nascar
10) WWE
114)Cycling
Lance is a dick, so is Contador, and so is every other roadie--from the Pro Tour, to the Cat 5 races in the parks. The discipline requires it of its participants.
God damned right Berto is looking out for himself. His DS and team sure are not.
He grew some balls on alcaris and said fuck you Bruyneel and Lance. Shleck and Evans have attacked it is time to counter, to shut them down and put some time on the board -- and oh yeah, to show who is the king of the mountains. That was payback for Lance pulling in the break - which he was probably tipped off to anyway.
Lance is a dick, but Alberto is too. The only difference is Lance has a lot more experience and a much bigger set of balls. Though Alberto can probably cream him in the Alps. Don't feel sorry for Alberto. He's watching out for himself, and THAT's why Chris Horner is sitting at home.
dick and a spoiler. Berto beat him fair and square in the TT and is the rightfull leader. So what does he do? With Hog's blessing he pulls for all he is worth in the HTC break knowing full well that he is putting time into Berto. Not Cancellera, he sat in to respect Shleck.
Loved to see Berto stick it back to him. Now you know why Horner is not in France.
I do not think Lance came back just to pass the torch to Alberto. Everyone can have their own thoughts of what he is doing, but he is probably just making sure his place in history will be secured. He probably wants the record books to say he won the most Tour de France's ever. Right now Alberto could break Lance's seven. All Lance has to do is win one more and that might put an end to any chance of Alberto or possibly anyone else breaking his record. The guy has an ego. He does not want to see his own record broken. He has a chance to prevent it, so he is doing it.
I spent two years there and my favorite riding story involved tooling along a rural highway only to have a pick-up truck pull alongside. Pa driving with Ma holding a 3 year old child in her lap, window rolls down and Ma yells 'spit on the faggot baby, spit on the faggot.' I continue to ride a decent tempo pace, dreaming that I'm riding in the alps while a 3 year horks loogies on me. I figured the loogies were better than Pa pulling his gun on me.
Yes, definitely Lance helping Contador out will help his political career - because if there's one thing Texas voters care about, it's gifted Tour de France stage wins.
Maybe if you weren't stroking your hard on while your were typing you could write a coherent sentence. When your words are unclear people will dissect your grammar.
Sorry to the grammar police and the lazy-brains. Love the NYVelocity-style. Can't respond to an idea, so you dissect the unedited ramblings of a fellow cyclist.
"It doesn't make sense that one wouldn't believe that Armstrong is not capable of this."
should read:
"It would make sense to believe that Armstrong is capable of this."
or
"It's unreasonable to believe that Armstrong is capable of the other things but incapable of this."
Everyone assumes Armstrong's some evil genius who can avoid dope testing with sheer cunning and guile.
However, a plan to manipulate the media (just like he has manipulated the narrative that is told about him - "It's not about the bike," "Every Second Counts", "Lance Armstrong's War", etc.) is far beyond the abilities of this guy. So far, one thing everyone can agree on is the fact that Armstrong has been able to dictate more than any other cyclist (and perhaps any other athlete?) his personal myth, as it were. It doesn't make sense that one wouldn't believe that Armstrong is not capable of this.
I imagine he has already figured out that if he were to work for Contador, then the world would warm up to him. Beyond that, demonstrating this kind of tactical and strategic know-how... his legend would be cemented forever.
Even more diabolical would be a plan to "gift" the Tour de France to Contador like a Grand Patron (similar to the old days when the patrons of the sport would give races to their domestiques), but that would be disrespectful of the race...
This would be especially helpful if he were indeed nurturing political ambitions.
The joke will be on us. These guys are playing us. There is no internal fighting or drama, it is all "created" to distract. Smoke and mirrors. It is a strategy that now even has you writing a cartoon about it. Don't fall for it.
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Add a commentThis is too funny-keep up the great work!
It's a unit of volume in nine-dimensional space
"ask the koreans, they drink cranberry juice by the cubic liter!"
Funny. The volumetric equivalent of a double negative...
this is just so good I can't stand it
oops, and the typing police
waist? (nw the spelling police are out)
brilliant. bravo.
Which team does it better? Columbia or Astana?
http://imgur.com/jKmSp.jpg
one of the best comment threads i've read in a while (i don't know why it's so funny when people get attacked for bad grammar but it is)...
between the comment thread and the TOTO i almost peed my pantaloons
Whoops. Repeated the title not the time. Anyway, you should get it.
"However a plan to manipulate the media is far beyond this guy."
It was a sarcastic bit that was meant to capture the mindset of the lance haters. You guys are New Yorkers, I thought you'd get the sarcasm. He clearly has been able to manipulate the media, because he has very convincingly controlled the telling of his story.
Don't get so sensitive about the lazy brains comment... Geez!
I don't have a hard-on for Lance. However, I also don't hate him. You guys are all extremes. If you don't hate him, then you have to love him. *rolls eyes*
You really think there's going to be a discussion of actual thoughts? If there is... it'll be the first one on NY Velocity... ever.
10:59 am: "4-on-a-side squirrel football." this morning driving to work I found a confused, tired, frantic, scared squirrel with his head stuck in a blizzard container running in circles in the middle of the street. his fur looked like the pink panther's when he came out of the dryer. so I pulled over and yanked it off for him. he was thrilled, and my good deed was done for the day. which reminds me:
11:46pm (née 9:04am, 10:10am): jesus. listen, guy, we tried diligently to understand you so we could have a friendly chat but, frankly, it's impossible.
you wrote: "However, a plan to manipulate the media ... is far beyond the abilities of this guy" and in the same paragraph (corrected for the sweet negative^3) "It would make sense to believe that Armstrong is capable of this."
so we'd love to respond to your point, broseph(ine), but seriously - what the f*ck was it? is manipulating the media "far beyond" Armstrong's abilities or he is "capable of it?"
and then - to add insult to injury - you had the sheer audacity to engage in name-calling by referring to us as "lazy brains" unable to not get beyond your unlazified grammar.
so, mate, do us a favor. call it a do-over down, pull your head out of your ass (or blizzard container), re-type a coherent thought and then we'll chat. we can have civil discourse, but not if you're going to throw around monikers like "lazy brain." at least the squirrel was grateful. i try and pull the grammatical blizzard container off your head, and you try to f-cking bite me. worse than a rodent!
11:48 am: "grammer police." trying to bait me by missspelling grammar, eh? Not biting sucka ... nice try.
of sports in Texas:
1) College Football
2) Pro Football
3) Imigrant hunting
4) Imigrant throwing
5) Find the missing tooth
6) High School Football
7) Baseball
8) Basketball
9) Nascar
10) WWE
114)Cycling
ha ha ha! Lance/Berto Tandem on TV Fun House!
Now that I've clarified, though... you still haven't responded to the point.
Awww... poor lazy brains can't not get beyond the unlazified grammar...
"The only difference is Lance has a lot more experience and a much bigger set of balls."
Actually, I don't think Lance has a "set" anymore.
Horner should be rockin a GARMIN kit. JV should have that dude on speed dial!
What a complete waist of horsepower - with him sittin at home.
Lance is a dick, so is Contador, and so is every other roadie--from the Pro Tour, to the Cat 5 races in the parks. The discipline requires it of its participants.
Can you let me know when the English language translation of that comment comes out? Thx
I wouldn't think that Lance will not be capable of handling this, no way, no how. Lance will definitely not be able to, I think!
God damned right Berto is looking out for himself. His DS and team sure are not.
He grew some balls on alcaris and said fuck you Bruyneel and Lance. Shleck and Evans have attacked it is time to counter, to shut them down and put some time on the board -- and oh yeah, to show who is the king of the mountains. That was payback for Lance pulling in the break - which he was probably tipped off to anyway.
Right on! That alcaris attack was pure chickenshit on Berto's part. That guy clearly has no balls.
Lance is a dick, but Alberto is too. The only difference is Lance has a lot more experience and a much bigger set of balls. Though Alberto can probably cream him in the Alps. Don't feel sorry for Alberto. He's watching out for himself, and THAT's why Chris Horner is sitting at home.
Alberto will be dating the Olsen Twins shortly. Sloppy segundos...
dick and a spoiler. Berto beat him fair and square in the TT and is the rightfull leader. So what does he do? With Hog's blessing he pulls for all he is worth in the HTC break knowing full well that he is putting time into Berto. Not Cancellera, he sat in to respect Shleck.
Loved to see Berto stick it back to him. Now you know why Horner is not in France.
I do not think Lance came back just to pass the torch to Alberto. Everyone can have their own thoughts of what he is doing, but he is probably just making sure his place in history will be secured. He probably wants the record books to say he won the most Tour de France's ever. Right now Alberto could break Lance's seven. All Lance has to do is win one more and that might put an end to any chance of Alberto or possibly anyone else breaking his record. The guy has an ego. He does not want to see his own record broken. He has a chance to prevent it, so he is doing it.
Lancecat Manor.
TOOMAAAHHH!!!
grammer police are to a thread what william a macy's character in "the cooler" was to a winning streak
Cycling in Texas that was a cracker
I spent two years there and my favorite riding story involved tooling along a rural highway only to have a pick-up truck pull alongside. Pa driving with Ma holding a 3 year old child in her lap, window rolls down and Ma yells 'spit on the faggot baby, spit on the faggot.' I continue to ride a decent tempo pace, dreaming that I'm riding in the alps while a 3 year horks loogies on me. I figured the loogies were better than Pa pulling his gun on me.
I honestly think 114 is generous. I think 4-on-a-side squirrel football is higher.
of sports in Texas:
1) College Football
2) Pro Football
3) High School Football
4) Baseball
5) Basketball
6) Nascar
7) WWE
114)Cycling
Yes, definitely Lance helping Contador out will help his political career - because if there's one thing Texas voters care about, it's gifted Tour de France stage wins.
ask the koreans, they drink cranberry juice by the cubic liter!
haha.... ok, so here: lance is a cold motherfucker AND you botched the crap out of that sentence, even though you think you didn't.
Maybe if you weren't stroking your hard on while your were typing you could write a coherent sentence. When your words are unclear people will dissect your grammar.
Vive Le Sentence Diagramming!
Sorry to the grammar police and the lazy-brains. Love the NYVelocity-style. Can't respond to an idea, so you dissect the unedited ramblings of a fellow cyclist.
"It doesn't make sense that one wouldn't believe that Armstrong is not capable of this."
should read:
"It would make sense to believe that Armstrong is capable of this."
or
"It's unreasonable to believe that Armstrong is capable of the other things but incapable of this."
Just like the tour for the coming week - meh
Good point. "It doesn't not make sense that one wouldn't disbelieve that Armstrong is not incapable of this." flows a lot better.
dude before this thing is over we're going to see berto and lanceypants holding hands across the finish line
you left out a double negative
"It doesn't make sense that one wouldn't believe that Armstrong is not capable of this."
Yeah. Wait, what?
His agent, Bill Stapelton is the genius
Everyone assumes Armstrong's some evil genius who can avoid dope testing with sheer cunning and guile.
However, a plan to manipulate the media (just like he has manipulated the narrative that is told about him - "It's not about the bike," "Every Second Counts", "Lance Armstrong's War", etc.) is far beyond the abilities of this guy. So far, one thing everyone can agree on is the fact that Armstrong has been able to dictate more than any other cyclist (and perhaps any other athlete?) his personal myth, as it were. It doesn't make sense that one wouldn't believe that Armstrong is not capable of this.
I imagine he has already figured out that if he were to work for Contador, then the world would warm up to him. Beyond that, demonstrating this kind of tactical and strategic know-how... his legend would be cemented forever.
Even more diabolical would be a plan to "gift" the Tour de France to Contador like a Grand Patron (similar to the old days when the patrons of the sport would give races to their domestiques), but that would be disrespectful of the race...
This would be especially helpful if he were indeed nurturing political ambitions.
We'll see on the slopes of Ventoux.
When a team communicates this well. Bravo!!!
Laughed out loud at Toto. That's a first.
Now that's funny!
The joke will be on us. These guys are playing us. There is no internal fighting or drama, it is all "created" to distract. Smoke and mirrors. It is a strategy that now even has you writing a cartoon about it. Don't fall for it.
it's topical, 5:24
it's like Infinite Jest only it's an internet comic about bike racing with no footnotes
I don't like Armstrong.
But Toto has gone from funny and smart to a unfunny and aggressive outlet for insulting LA.
Go back to funny. Go back to smart.
advancing the Armstrong myth, one strip at a time.
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