As the Toto Turns 230

Tue, 05/24/2011 - 5:17am by Andy Shen

 (Originally from 5/24/11)

60 Minutes, with thanks to @TheHuttinator

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Awww, I missed out troll!
By: schmalz
Mon, 01/28/2013 - 6:23pm

Awww, I missed our troll!

By: Remi Fork
Mon, 01/28/2013 - 2:56pm

Who is a greater fraud, Lance or Oprah? Or Smallie and Andie? For feigning outrage and interest for the sake of perpetuating the clicks? Real cyclists dont follow this any more and definately dont support advertisers, do they?

the world where you live
By: monorchid conconi
Mon, 01/14/2013 - 12:50pm

that golden one leads a double life

Here's what to expect
By: Robin Brakepad
Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:45pm

Lance: "Oprah, I have made mistakes in my life. I am not going to go into all of the details but I will tell you I have made mistakes and I want to apologize to all of those who were hurt by my mistakes."

Oprah: "This is stunning Lance. I want our listener to know how hard this must be for you to admit you are no perfect and ask that listener to forgive you."

Lance: "Thank you" (eyes welling due to smelling salts in front shirt pocket).

Nice reference to the Movie the Conversation
By: Noah Sealant
Sat, 01/12/2013 - 10:52pm

Wow, Chapeau to you my friend. Loved the reference to the movie. You must be as old as I am, I was a young teen when I first saw it. Hope you young wiper-snappers get a chance to watch it.

Lance on Oprah 1/17
By: Cheatto Winfrey
Thu, 01/10/2013 - 8:56pm

Are we all getting together at BXL to watch this?
$1 Michelob Ultras?

Reasons why Lance won't
By: Bruce
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 8:11pm
Matthew 7:7
By: monorchid conconi
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 7:21pm
Those are both hilarious. For
By: mikeweb
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:53pm

Those are both hilarious. For the second one I would've gone with the 'and a white lunch bag for you!!' line instead though.

everybody's a winner, bargains galore!
By: monorchid conconi
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 5:18pm
Bingostrong Boards Here.
By: Becca*
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 5:08pm

Some fellas at work whipped this up: http://i.imgur.com/U0AUT.jpg
Now we can all feel like winners while we watch Lance and Oprah.

Amazingly prescient
By: Danato Lube
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 11:19am

How did you guys know this way back in May?!?!?!?!?!??!?

By: Lorenzo Cable
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:38am

F-ing brilliant!!!

By: Betsy Andreu
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 6:18am

Should we send lance a BAAS cap for his Marion Jonesesque appearance with Oprah?

By: West Coast Reader
Wed, 01/09/2013 - 2:50am

The real question is, will the cycling fans make a dent on Oprah's ratings?

By: Erwan Helmet
Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:24am

this sh*t is insane, love it, thx again

...i would say...
By: Matteo Dropout
Fri, 05/27/2011 - 9:33pm

...that 60 minutes = hours of fun for the whole family...

...with love & a ticking time bomb, bgw...

A comment from "Hog Lover?"
By: Bastien Neck
Thu, 05/26/2011 - 3:55pm

A comment from "Hog Lover?" This has to be of Toto's doing.


By: Goro Biopace
Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:59am

Thanks guys - a great start to the day.

Jules to Team Saggy Diapers
By: Razzante Chainsuck
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 10:50pm

Jules to Team Saggy Diapers

By: West Coast Reader
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:49pm

So Joe-Han is MIA. Snuck out of his Giro hotel room and hasn't been seen since. Not even a tweet.

Oh where, oh where can Joe-Han be?

Busted veins
By: Hamza Dry Lube
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:37pm

I'd suggest sleeves. It looks disgusting. Like junkies. Dirty.

it's over
By: Jules Rim
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:21pm

guys.....the blahblahblah to mengoni shit...it's played out

Toto to Mengoni!
By: Lancie Pie
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:16pm

Toto to Mengoni!

"Angry" and "Impotent"
By: Schiatta Skidmark
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 5:13pm

are two words which would guarantee an appearance on Oprah


Pee-pee has a know bias
By: Diego Cage
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 4:43pm

Pee-pee has a know bias against Lance Armstrong.

Just spit-ballin'...
By: Romain Hammer
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:35pm

Let's say all these old samples of Lance's piss are laying around, awash in EPO, from before effective testing was available. They should have plenty of identifiable DNA in there with Lance's pee-pee. It seems to me that it is not going to be all that hard to show the samples were Lance's.

Jonas Seattube you no makka sense!
By: Romain Hammer
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:22pm

"Right now only two known have come right out and accused Lance of doping."

Say what?

I assume you mean Tyler and Floyd...

Frankie Andreu rode w/Lance and gave him up long ago. Not in the context of selling a book or being accused, but during a civil deposition in which they (he and his wife, Betsy) were required to appear as witnesses. That doesn't begin to include some of Lance's non-riding support.

We are getting the juicy bits that make good media. The boring tracking of drug shipments, test data matching and FedEx receipts is being pounded out by office drones right now.

hard to believe a liar
By: Jonas Seattube
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 1:16pm

That's the worst part. Right now only two known have come right out and accused Lance of doping. So it is hard to believe them. Same thing for those allegations that a sample from 1999 that test positive for EPO many years later was one belonging to Lance. Hard to believe since the sample only has a number and we have seen some of those labs are pretty lousy at keeping records. I'm pretty sure LA was/is a doper, but the proof against him right now is not very good.

flatire then satire
By: Guido Supple
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 12:01pm

better than weirder cycling's new benchmark established you no TOTO you nobody

By: .harlem youth
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 3:51am

good one Shen! "whats that ticking?"
That there is the makings of a toto classic.

Tyler certainly looked like a freak up there on 60. The darting eyes and the awkward silences, just made things more uncomfortable watching him spill it out. I tell ya, it was sad to see him almost break down and catch himself when describing his feelings at that one point. Then I think about the money he took and things come into perspective. I noticed that question didnt get raised on 60.

Most compelling sound bite - Frankie Andreu and that guy commenting about the lab meeting.

...hey, mikeweb...
By: Matteo Dropout
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 9:06pm

...think i'll use those in a rotating sequence as ringtones for my phone...

...every call offers "the word of lance" to remind me that there is a god...at least in cycling...

...with ringing in my ears, love, bgw...

just thanks
By: Schmirnov
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 7:54pm

for all the Totos.

This will come in
By: mikeweb
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 7:34pm
By: Galleazzo Lube
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 6:46pm

His camera pressence did not help his credibilty.

allow me to elaborate
By: excitable
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 6:31pm

ea moron. He hurt his credibility by lying in the past. He does it further damage by telling his story to 60 minutes before his book comes out, rather than just to a grand jury.

ea busted
By: excitable
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 6:28pm

you're a moron. I hope you are neither a lawyer nor a philosopher.

credibilty my ass
By: Edgar Allen Busted
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 5:48pm

I love the argument that Tyler has no credibility because he lied in the past, but now he is saying exactly the opposite thing and he's still a liar. Btw, nice one po boy!

Schoolboy John's in jail
By: Monorchid Conconi
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 5:48pm

We can't be sure of who the villains are, because everyone's so pretty. But the afterparty is sure to be a wingding as it moves into your city.

ATTT 230
By: Armando Headset
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 4:17pm

Best one in a while!!!

Question: Does the Livingston put "The Dropper" in it's masters mouth?

Toto very funny but he like
By: Beef Taint
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:51pm

Toto very funny but he like ham. Hog hiding from Toto.

Har dee har har
By: Dong Work For Yuda
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:43pm

This is a good one.

Wherever Hog is, he's high as a fucking kite with all the drugs he absconded with from the Giro.

Que Rush: Fly by night away from here.....

"My Dinner with Toto"?
By: William Kevlar
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:29pm

"My Dinner with Toto"?

I help Alberto very good. He
By: Beef Taint
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 3:26pm

I help Alberto very good. He have nice sensacions today.

Toto. You know they are reading this.

lunch bag of courage
By: po boy
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:52pm

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Tyler?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
"Tyler!" Merely this, and nothing more.

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the Flandis, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lunchbag gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

TRUE! nervous, very, very
By: Edgar Allan Poe
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 1:42pm

TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad?

I love
By: MQ
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 12:19pm

The smell of TOTO in the mornings

Mo Better Testing
By: liquiguts
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 11:51am

By my calculations, Lance would have had to have been drug tested almost every ten days as a professional to reach 500. It's amazing he even had time to train between the testing, and the showering that proceeded them, and the fixing which followed on them.

Nice catch on The
By: Andy Shen
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 11:29am

Nice catch on The Conversation!

Mos Toto
By: liquiguts
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 10:26am

Lance is the most Toto'd athlete in history. He's been Toto'd more than 500 times, and here again, in Toto 230. However, most Toto'd movie appears to be "the Conversation."

Oprah loves ham!!!
By: Mohamed Nipple
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 9:20am

Oprah loves ham!!!

By: West Coast Reader
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 9:02am

I found the Hog! (in the pic)

He's off to easier pastures to pay off in Madrid, he'll be safe as long as he doesn't rat our Contador, if he does he'll be moving his family to Belgium.

...hog's smart enough...
By: Matteo Dropout
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:32am

...not to hide in the back of the bus...dude got out a town before "i federali" showed up...

..."Sì, vorremmo cercare l'autobus, ma ci piacerebbe anche parlare con signore Bruyneel"...
...("yes, we'd like to search the bus but we'd also like to talk to mister bruyneel") ...

...with tough love, bgw...

I love Toto Too!
By: Simon Plug
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:21am

I love Toto Too!

By: Nick777
Tue, 05/24/2011 - 6:28am

I love toto

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