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SubscribeSchmalz Machine
Thu, 07/17/2008 - 1:51pm by Andy
Dan Schmalz's Cannondale CAAD Something...
Dan Schmalz recently stormed his way to victory (and the yellow jersey) at the FBF Tuesday night race series. We were lucky enough to grab some pictures of the mighty racer's rig. We had to use a very high shutter speed to photograph the bike as it normally vibrates — even when standing still. This is but one of 20 bikes schmalz will go through in the course of one season. He has them stacked in his garage like cord wood. He has a holistic approach to wrenching, when one part wears out, he replaces the entire bike. We photographed his bike resting against schmalz's outdoor commode.
This is Schmalz's current option as far as crit racing goes, which is distinguished from his climbing bike in that it's exactly the same.
An aged FSA aluminum crankset holds well worn chainrings which typically last 10 miles before turning to dust. This is why schmalz doesn't sprint, the dust is carcinogenic, and schmalz would never intentionally give anyone cancer.
A Dura-Ace shifter moves schmalz's chain through the cogs, normally the chain only resides on the 11 cog, as there are no 10 cogs yet. When this chain is worn out, the entire bike will be replaced.
A Schwalbe Stelvio 22 mm tires spin the earth beneath him. The tires are mounted to Zipp 404 wheels. He got the rear wheel for being awesome. He bought the front wheel for being stupid.
Schmalz's saddle is splitting under the strain of his power - this saddle is 3 days old.
Schmalz does not race with a computer, his power numbers stream directly to God.
Dura Ace brakes can't hope to stop schmalz's power, they can only hope to contain it. Another hole in this tire and this bike will be replaced.
Schmalz's musk has worn the paint off his cranks.
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Comments
Add a commentYou really are keeping it real, REAL OLD!
all you need is a nice kit- instead of that 1960's tye dye color shit rag.
Here I have been riding a bike with tires that just spin "On" Earth, but Schmalz's rig has tires that spin "the" Earth. Genius! Where can I get these tires/nuclear powered magnetizers? $7,000 is a steal!!!
If you really want to go fast you have to file off all those dimples on the rims from the manufacturing process
Does it come in pink? And with a triple?
Oh and yes a new lighter race rig (Caad 9) with new bearings, etc will make him faster both on the pedals and in the mind! New bikes sometimes give you a new motivation to get out there and ride... I love Cannondale though!
trade ya for a trunk full of trinkets
sold! I accept Paypal, money orders, wire transfers, wampum, and pelts.
a $10,000 bike wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.
actually it's a pretty nice race rig.
I bid $7000
I have been behind schmalz in prospect and heard that ancient beat creaking and cracking....and was thinking to myself can't this guy work out some deal with a bike company, free advertising, and get himself a respectable 200 era bicycle.
You shoulda had a pic of the daughter wearing the FBF medal.
really feeling cannondale bikes these days. i should get one to use as my "crit bike"
I'm more interested in the well. That's where the bling is at.
this is fantastic
You really are keeping it real, REAL OLD!
all you need is a nice kit- instead of that 1960's tye dye color shit rag.
Here I have been riding a bike with tires that just spin "On" Earth, but Schmalz's rig has tires that spin "the" Earth. Genius! Where can I get these tires/nuclear powered magnetizers? $7,000 is a steal!!!
If you really want to go fast you have to file off all those dimples on the rims from the manufacturing process
Does it come in pink? And with a triple?
Oh and yes a new lighter race rig (Caad 9) with new bearings, etc will make him faster both on the pedals and in the mind! New bikes sometimes give you a new motivation to get out there and ride... I love Cannondale though!
trade ya for a trunk full of trinkets
sold! I accept Paypal, money orders, wire transfers, wampum, and pelts.
a $10,000 bike wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.
actually it's a pretty nice race rig.
I bid $7000
I have been behind schmalz in prospect and heard that ancient beat creaking and cracking....and was thinking to myself can't this guy work out some deal with a bike company, free advertising, and get himself a respectable 200 era bicycle.
You shoulda had a pic of the daughter wearing the FBF medal.
really feeling cannondale bikes these days. i should get one to use as my "crit bike"
I'm more interested in the well. That's where the bling is at.
this is fantastic
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