Tour day schmalz week 1 recap

Richard move

 The first week of the Tour was the week of the team, with some teams weaker than others. There were dominating efforts by Cannondale and Sky and lesser but still solid efforts by Orica Green Edge, Lotto-Belisol and Omega Pharma-Quick Step. Movistar also had a good day on Sunday, but first let’s get to Cav’s dick move on stage 10, shall we?

Let there be no doubt that Cav’s shoulder throw in the last moments of stage 10 was a dick move. He had been brought up to Greipel’s wheel by Steegmans (Steegs went all the way to the front, but Cav decided to camp on Greipel’s keyster), but was pushed out by an Argos rider, he then had to drift back and come around the Argos guys, and when he started his jump for Greipel’s wheel as the sprint wound up, he gave a hard shoulder to the Argos rider (Tom Veelers) who was drifting back after completing his leadout.

OK, let me restate that. The guy who kept Cav off Greipel’s wheel (Veelers), looked around, was harmlessly falling back and Cav gave him what can only be called a "dick shoulder" as he passed by on his way to the finish. Cav wasn’t being squeezed by Veelers. Veelers wasn’t even sprinting, Cav was just being a dick. If Cav were normally sized his shoulder would’ve bumped Veelers shoulder and it would’ve sent Cav’s message, which is, "I’m a pissy dick." But Cav is a miniature replica of a person, and his shoulder hit Veelers arm, knocking him off of his bike. Total dick move. There’s no other possible ruling.

But moving on, we had a quasi-eventful first week of the Tour. The Sky Bots were deployed and wreaked havoc on Saturday’s stage 8. It was really a masterful day of team riding, with Porte even finishing second to Froome on the day. It was the type of team effort we used to see a lot in the Postal years, so that’s really, really soothing for me to type. And that sort of performance would’ve been troubling had it not been for…

Stage 9 saw Movistar try to do their best Sky Bot imitation, they dropped all of the Sky Bots save for Froome, and Quintana even tried a few moves to try and hurt Froome, but Bot-imus Prime would not be dropped. Movistar managed to get Valverde up to second place on the GC, but the issue with Movistar is that they are a multi-stage rocket delivering the crap-filled nosecone that is Alejandro Valverde. Valverde simply cannot do any damage to Froome at the end of these stages. It was interesting that Sky had a bad day after having a dominant one, which may mean they aren’t US Postal, they may be more like Discovery.

On the opposite end of the "delivering for teammates" spectrum from Valverde is Peter Sagan. Sagz’s Cannondale teammates pulled all damn day on stage 7. They essentially did a 100k leadout, dropping all the other sprinters and put Sagz in a position to win, which he did, because Sagz is an assassin, you can tell by his facial hair.

There were other teams that had good performances also. Orica Green Edge won the TTT, which is always a sign of good teamwork, and it allowed them to do-si-do the yellow jersey around the bus at night between Gerrans and Impey. Garmin played everybody on stage 9. Lotto Belisol even got in the team act by getting Greipel his stage 6 win, even if he did it looking like he was wearing a headset from an overseas call center. (Seriously, why bother with the aero suit when you’ve got a tangle of wires around your neck where the collar should be?)

All in all, it’s been a pretty feisty first week, and a lot more exciting than I would’ve thought (Hesjedal has gone GOGGLES). Today we have the ITT, which is dull as hell, but helps to really destroy the GC dreams of a bunch of guys, so it’s a necessary evil. I will be commentating on our twitter account, because it’s easy and I’m lazy.

32 Comments

Freddie

Smarticus, are you a Football fan? Its called armchair quaterbacking and it is a common and excepted practice.

Francesco Rim

Smarticus, you’re absolutely right. I am such a shitty bike racer I shouldn’t even be watching the tour, let alone sharing an opinion about bike racing in the comments section of a bike racing blog post about bike racing.

Paolo Kevlar

I think this Cav incident has shined a light on what all those locals who have issues with certain teams and riders should do – throw urine on them!

Jasper Rim

Those that suggest US Postal/Discovery domestiques did not finish near the podium need to go back and look at the results of Heras, Acevado, etc. and take note of their top 10 finishes in the Tour.

Martin Supple

The Chav from Man has proved a lout
He lost the stage and shoved a Kraut
He gets off scot-free thanks to the race jury
Yet he got covered in Francais pee-pee

Axel O-Ring

we’re at stage 11 and we have a week one recap WITHOUT FROMAGGI?! Bring out the little bastid already

Francesco Rim

I disagree on your cavendish assessment. Veelers was doing some laughable cat 4 blocking shit 150m from the finish. He didn’t even do a leadout, he started soft pedaling when he saw he had cavendish on his wheel.

Freddie

I am not sure the modest fade to the right was a blocking tactic, Actually I think Cav getting out of the saddle, getting flustered by the right fade and lossing his balance which is what caused him to move his whole body around and shoulder the other rider is more a Cat 4 thing.

Smarticus

Commenting online about TDF Sprinting technique… This is priceless. Everyone in the NYC race community would be crapping themselves if they were in the leadout train for one of these sprints. Keep it coming please.

Freddie

Smarticus, are you a Football fan? Its called armchair quaterbacking and it is a common and excepted practice.

Francesco Rim

“…but the issue with Movistar is that they are a multi-stage rocket delivering the crap-filled nosecone that is Alejandro Valverde.”

haha, I lol’d.

Smarticus

Will get popped this season. He is on another planet on the climbs and TTs and while he may be a special rider, he is riding like an alien… Just too good to be true.

Lukas Brakepad

AFter that TT ride I just can’t even stand to watch this stupid Tour. He is a name that nobody even heard of on the world stage a few years ago. Now he happens to be killing it, and happens to do it from the same team as Wiggins, who also came from nowhere on world road racing stage to win the Tour and Olympics? Really? Neither guy even looks like a Tour winner physically. Too big, too tall, not a climbing or TT body. Where did they come from. Some sort of UK based JAmes Bond lab set up to help win the Olympics? Thats my theory. Remember that Bond movie when he went to that awesome country castle to recover and train? Thats my vision. Only with cool cutting edge drugs they probably developed with some Americans.

Michele Swage

Say what you will about the Postal/Discovery era, but during Lance’s run of Tour titles it was rare for his teammates to finish within even spitting distance of the podium (either on stages or for the overall). They’d absolutely destroy themselves to set up LA for the wins and then pack it in like everyone else. Last year’s Sky domination looked way more suspect ATMO, with the team looking stronger and stronger each day, not to mention two riders on the same team suddenly getting it “right” at the same time.

That being said, this tour is far from over…at least in the race for 2nd and 3rd. Definitely kicked myself for leaving Froome off the fantasy team…

Freddie

Dan,

Thanks for your comments about Cav, I deoubt he did it on purposes, but he rides like a self-entitled kid who thinks the world owes him a favor or at least a good wheel. Everything around him is invisable.

I also don’t understand his comments about the road turning left. It looks pretty straight to me.

Lukas Brakepad

Yes, the plan was quite clear back then, and it did not include other members of the team finishing near the front on any given day other than one-off stages (ie Hincapie going for stage win in mountains – haha!). Sky is more about just winning everything they can, and it really shows the bench strength that makes it all the more obvious that they are getting lots of help – a team full of names from nowhere topping the podium list. Wiggins isnt even there but wait, theres Froome, and now this Porte guy! Sure they have real talent, but its just so crazy, coming from nowhere. At least Lance’s team had the explanation that they used a huge budget to basically buy the best riders from every country, as seen in the makeup of the team most years. Like the Yankees. Sky is just a wierd UK lab test.

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