Designer: Dan Schmalz
From the King of Style™
To me the Teany kit is the amalgamated love-child of a Jelly Belly kit and a BH-Garneau kit. Not knowing the order of operations here, however, perhaps BH is the love-child of JB and Teany, but not JB the sweet biproduct of BH-G and Teany, because JB is establishing itself as a stalwart team to domestic cycling being around for an impressively ever growing number of years.
I digress. Let’s talk style. Or the lack thereof.
I’ve discussed this kit with King of Style and he and I have come to the conclusion that… blaaaaah. Where’s the panache, where’s the flair, where’s the—dare I say it—sex factor? A white kit with a handful of circles and blocks of pastel hues does not constitute the action that I demand in my cycling jerseys. Lackluster and unimaginative are two words that pop to mind when this image first popped up on my computer screen. Those and candy; for some reason this kit just looks like it belongs in on a bumbling giant puppet touting a candy shop, but that could be due to the visual association I make to Jelly Belly, which is a kit that does please mine eyes.
I try to remain firmly objective in my style analysis—since style is fact and therefore proven and not open to wishy washy opinion—I therefore generally do not welcome the actual sponsors themselves into my dissection. However, speaking of candy, my hawk like eyes could not escape the DessertBuzz.com ad on the jersey’s rear. The KoS™ possesses something of a sweet tooth, so with a quick visit over to said website this marginal kit jumped up one rung on my style ladder to just boring (up from terribly boring). Moreover, after viewing this kit BH-Garneau earned a half point increase in all scores, ex post facto.
Execution of final product: B-
Effort in design: C
After reading this critique from the King of Style™, I was struck by his hostility towards—candy. He's ok with desserts, but candy (especially jelly beans) really seems to draw his ire. I may not know much, but I can unequivocally state that—without jelly beans—an Easter basket is just a pile of revolting Peeps gluing your eggs into an omelette of disappoint.
Confectionary musings aside, I am the designer of the kit in question here, and as a designer, I am used to being evaluated. Mr King's criticisms are matters of taste and preference—which are very personal and subjective—thankfully he doesn't take me to task for efficacy or a lack of clarity in communication; two cardinal sins for a designer. The Teany identity is well established, and as a designer sometimes my job is to get out of the way and run with the football of an established identity.
That being said, I like the Teany kit very much, as I try to not design things I despise. I can also accept the criticisms from the KoS™, but his attacks on candy I cannot abide.
Who we are.
Dan Schmalz, when he's not typing aimlessly on the internet for free, is a graphic designer who has owned his own firm for over a decade. His work has been published in numerous national design publications, and his work has received several national awards.
If you want to have you team's kit put through the fashion critique wringer, drop us a line, and we will try to be gentle.
Additional kit reviews
You know that old box of bike parts you've put in your closet?
Recorded inside the press room at Grenoble Velodrome, we bring you Episode #8 of the Insider from the 2011 Tour de France, our final podcast.
Recorded 1,850 metres above sea level atop the famed Alpe d'Huez, we bring you Episode #7 of the Insider podcast from the 2011 Tour de France.