Tour day Schmalz Stage 18

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:11pm by schmalz

 Yesterday's eventful (not "epic", I have stricken the term "epic" from my quiver of word arrows – I am so tired of hearing "epic" cycling occurrences – epic Tours, epic stages, epic sandwiches in the feed zone — "epic", the moment has passed, time to move on) stage which saw Alberto Contador scamper away with the Brothers Schleck as they worked to put time into the ITT menaces of Kloden, Wiggins and Armstrong. The Schlecks have to gain time in the mountains because when they fold their lanky Luxembourgian frames onto their time trial bikes, the clock hands start spinning wildly like a prop clock from a 1950's time travel movie.

Stage 1
Stage 2
Stage 3
Stage 4
Stage 5
Stage 6
Stage 7
Stage 8
Stage 9
Stage 10
Stage 11
Stage 12
Stage 13
Stage 14
Stage 15
Stage 16
Stage 17

But the real story of the day for me was the escape of Thor SMASH, as he went on the attack to prove that he deserved the green jersey. There had been some squawking from Cavendish about Thor SMASHing his way to green through a Cav relegation for irregular sprinting. Here's Cav's comment from the rest day (from cyclingnews):

Cavendish said he told Hushovd, "You've won the green jersey now but that's always going to have a stain on it.

A stain? You're complaining about the relegation after your team roostered up George's race by committing to a lead out and then soft pedaling on the front at the pack sprint? Is there anything Columbia can't complain about? Is the bus AC set at 75 instead of 74? Do they have to pay French taxes on the stage win money from this Tour? Is the caviar at the team dinner an off brand? Thor SMASH felt that he needed to prove himself worthy of the green jersey, so he broke away on the hardest day of the Tour, and collected the 12 points on offer for the green jersey, here's how he described it:

"I think I had my best day on my bike ever. I enjoyed every second on my bike today."

Let's run that through the schmalz translator, shall we? "I am to having the green, and the only stain for having on the tooo-nic is from the body juices that I squeezed out of my rivals."

In other cycling slap-fight news, there are whispers that Alberto might not be the best teammate in the world, and is not paying attention to team orders. Alberto lifted the pace in the break yesterday, which resulted in his teammate Kloden getting dropped off. Kloden then rode to not get caught by his own teammate Armstrong, who in turn caught Kloden near the finish, and dropped him right before the line. There are so many levels of disfunction going on here, it's hard to keep track; it seems that Astana has become the hot dog of the Tour – just a collection of random parts, lips and rectums shoved together in a light blue and yellow casing. In fact, some are even calling for a separate phallometer for Contador, as he may be revealing himself as a "Richard". This of course, bears investigation, so let's take a peek at Berto's phallo-history.

Contador came into prominence after his first Tour victory in 2007 with Discovery and Johan, here's his reaction to that win (from cyclingnews):

"I want to celebrate it and to have parties, then go on holidays, enjoying this first win," commented Contador on the overall win. He came back from a near-death brain clot to capture the greatest cycle race. "I could not image when I was there [in the hospital] that today I would be here with all these people watching me and with these results."

That sounds pretty non-dicky to me, and even more so when you consider that Johan before the Tour didn't really have a lot of faith in Alberto:

"A week before the Tour I scanned the rivals for the Tour's white jersey and sent him an e-mail with names like Gerdemann and Dekker," explained Discovery Team Manager Bruyneel. "He answered, 'I hope my rivals will be Valverde and Evans.'"

So Alberto overcame expectations, won the Tour and now everybody's happy. Then we move on to the 2008 Giro, which Alberto started at the last moment because the new Republic of Borat team that Johan had brought Alberto over to got excluded from participating in the Tour, robbing Contador of a chance to defend his title. Here's Alberto's reaction from that win (from cyclingnews):

"I am glad that I left my vacation to come here," Contador said with a grin while dressed in pink. "It was a Giro that many could have won and it is at the same level as the Tour de France, maybe at a higher lever."

So Alberto seems to have taken the Tour exclusion in stride, though it did cost him a chance at adding to his total Tour wins and adding to his place in cycling history.

So far we have a story about a happy go lucky guy who enjoys vacations and winning any bike race he's actually allowed to race in. But then along comes Johan's former best bud Lance Armstrong to complicate matters. The thing about Alberto's alleged dickiness is that you never heard anything about him being prickly or having any difficulties with teammates before Lance's arrival. It is only after the arrival of the Awareness Generator that we started to hear about Alberto's troubles. But he might have a case for dickiness:

The Hog didn't have a lot of faith in him initially. (Granted, the Hog didn't have any reason to believe in him, as Contador hadn't shown any of his Tour winning potential yet.)
The transfer to Astana cost him a chance at a Tour victory .
He's won all three Grand Tours and he now has to face the prospect of sharing the team leadership to a guy coming out of retirement.
Johan's already mentioned that the new team he's starting with Lance probably won't include Alberto.

To be honest, I'm not surprised that Alberto is acting a little dicky, or that he isn't listening to team orders or that he's attacking his teammates. What really surprises me is that he's not punching Lance and Kloden in the mouth at the sign-in every day.

Today should also bring the announcement that Radio Shack will be sponsoring the new team of Lance and the Hog. This is a surprising announcement for two reasons: Lance and Johan will be moving on without Alberto, and Radio Shack is somehow not insolvent.

Stage 18

I tune in to watch today's ITT, an event which I confess to find a very dull endeavor. It's just endless pictures of panting and pedaling. It like a long weird stag film, except without ladies or a Casio soundtrack.

Here's a Fabian interview – he says the course is harder than some might think, and that he needs to get to the team bus to freshen up his spray tan.

They show DZ out on the course as he passes Tommy Voeckler and his pain face™.

They interview Millar, and he says that unlike the "fat" Wiggo, the new Wiggo will go like a rocket today.

There's Cadel starting, he's been cryptically hinting at some sort of problem with this Tour, and he's not speaking to his teammates or the press. Could that have to do with the fact that his team's craptacular TTT screwed him out of contending for the overall? He's riding today to prove that he still deserves 4th place.

There goes Moreau, who's been revisiting his dance with 10th place on the last two stages.

P&P mention there could be some rain today, a notion which delights me, as it will mean I can watch Menchov slid his way across France on his rear end. Is there any way we can get Razzy to ride a guest ITT today?

I've been neglecting to mention the "Underdogs" commercial that VS has been playing, a lot of the underdogs they mention makes sense, but I think when they show the hunter and mention coming back against the odds, I'm a little confused. Wouldn't the deer or the baby bunny he's shooting be the underdog in that situation? And what would that comeback be like? Would it be a goring by a deer or a gnawing of the genitals from a rabbit?

We get a shot of Cadel pedaling his bike, slowly losing his mind.

So if the rain comes, I'm sure we will have a situation where Contador's teammates will give him valuable feedback about the course for his ride, things like applying extra lard to his tires and using his butter-based brake pads.

Here's a Levi interview – he says that it was frustrating to watch Alberto drop Kloden as he was hoping for Kloden to win the stage. They discuss how Alberto's move really screwed up Astana's chances for a podium sweep, now why would Alberto do that? After Astana's been so good to him?

Here's Frankie talking to Lance, he's cheekily says his goal is to "Go fast", just barely neglecting to say, "Duh!" That bugs me, so I will take one phallometer point off.

Wiggo is off. Let's see what he can do. It looks dry for him right now.

Lance is lining up to ride the ITT on a special yellow bike, that's a -5. A yellow bike, are you serious?

George finishes his TT, with a bruised, not broken (it's not broken because he refused to have it x-rayed) collarbone from yesterday's crash. Shockingly, his bike does not burst into flames as he crosses the line.

Lance is about to start his TT, insisting on using a yellow bike, which must be good luck, I'm sure. He ducks a punch from noted wanker Bernard Hinault and moves to the starting ramp.

The Schlecks are having a quick spoon before the start.

Franks starts down the start ramp, he's already lost a minute!

Andy starts, and only loses 30 seconds immediately.

Alberto starts – on a white bike – as Johan just has it made for him. It's a special composite made of eggwhites and powdered sugar.

VDV is on the course, but there's sadly little mention of his presence, sigh...

Wiggo is coming to the time check, he's got the fastest time at the first check! Go Wiggo!

According to the internet, VDV came through 10th at the first time check. Ouch.

Kloden comes through with the 3rd best time at the first time check.

Wow, Wiggo is thin! He looks like the third Schleck brother, except, of course, he's fast on a TT bike.

VDV 14th at the second time check, more ouch.

Lance 9 seconds slower than Wiggo at the first time check, but beating his main rival on the GC, Andreas Kloden.

In their wisdom, VS decide to show a spot for their show "Fanarchy" that shows a large man in a Yankees jersey making fun of the Tour by screaming "They're riding a bike!!" That's some savvy cross-promotion there. I would get upset, but I believe that fan will be claimed by heart disease in a matter of moments, and I will not speak too badly about the dead.

VDV grunting over the climb.

Andy Schleck comes through the first time check in 8th, which is surprisingly non-crappy.

Carlos Sastre's fancy P4 should have a stamp based paint job, as he is surely mailing this TT performance in.

Contador coming to the first time check. He gets the best time of the day by 18 seconds. Thanks for coming everyone...

Frank is down about a minute and a half to Wiggo already.

Lance is at the third time check, and he's 42 seconds down to Wiggo, but how much has he conceded to his rival Kloden?

VDV finishes 19th at 57 seconds down.

They show Andy Schleck, he may be coming close to catching his brother who started 3 minutes ahead of him. Will Frank offer him a lead out?

Frank down 1:16 to Wiggo at the time check, Wiggo is the virtual Frank Schleck on the day?

Wiggo finishing, he won't have the best time of the day

Andy is 47 seconds down on the second time check.

Contador is 30 seconds ahead at the second time check, the Hog radios up to tell him he's down by 4 minutes.

Kloden finishes 8th overall, and will now have to sleep in the tent previously used by Levi at this Tour.

Lance is finishing, he's riding hard to beat Wiggo, Kloden and un-awareness.

Lance finishes 15th, losing 1:26, maybe he's saving himself for 2011?

Frank Schleck finishes at 33rd at about 2:30 down.

Here comes Andy. He finishes 1:41 down, maintaining his second place and taunting rights over his brother.

Alberto coming in, he could win this stage.

Alberto wins by 3 seconds, that performance, along with his dominance in the hills, will not be looked at (not even by the French) as being suspicious in any manner whatsoever. Nope, no sir.

Let's wait and see how the GC shakes out, shall we? It looks like it will be Alberto, followed by Andy Schleck, and then Lance. Look like Alberto has one more chance on Ventoux to knock Lance out of the top three.

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New team
By: velocodger
Fri, 07/24/2009 - 7:08pm

This just out; Alberto will be on his own team next year, team Otra Pregunto. Sponsors include a proud Spanish bike manufacturer selling Chinese bikes exclusively. Radio Shack eat your heart out!

Further investigation into
By: cycling fan
Fri, 07/24/2009 - 4:07am

Further investigation into last year's Vuelta reveals AC is indeed a phallus. His complaints about Levi riding the final TT too fast are another example that AC is a lousy teammate. Incredibly talented... absolutely, but selfish and not very tactically astute since he blew his team's chances to sweep the TdF podium.

just heard AC's estranged
By: Wheelsucker
Fri, 07/24/2009 - 3:13am

just heard AC's estranged twin brother (then one that died in the womb) was in Hoboken purchasing homologously doped Israeli livers and hiding them in fake Gucci handbags...

To 6:48
By: Whelasucka!
Fri, 07/24/2009 - 1:48am

"since when is it up to a professional rider to prove is cleanliness"

Since Lance Armstrong stole 7 tour de france victories on dope.

Yes we Can(tador)!!
By: Albie's Cousin
Fri, 07/24/2009 - 1:13am

Obama sent Albie a text the other day informing that "Yes you can! Hope - Yes! Dope - No!

Albie won't be tested until late in 2010 as he contemplates what to do with all the EUROS, endorsements and such.

In 2010:

LA will get his $$$ from RadioShack and Nike, sign on a super team and Albie will head ASTANA-Gazprom-Putin-KGB...

Meanwhile, ASO will make plenty of anti-dope tests to ensure that Albie isn't EVER caught and VERSUS will rake in the ad revenue and all the fans will shout and scream as the whole TdF makes its way around the country again....

Obama will greet LA at the top of the Alpes and Albie will cry profusely

Where does Lemond get off?
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 10:48pm

Since when is it up to a professional rider to prove is cleanliness in the sport on top of working full time on climbing the highest mountains the fastest way possible???

Alberto does his job well (obviously). It's up to organizations that pay their employees at UCI, WADA, ASO to do that job. Not Contador.

Greg, I was ready to trust your mission for a clean sport until I heard your audiotape where you promised that Oakley rep. that you were not recording her words when you most definitely did. From now on your goals for a clean sport are suspect. Ends do not justify the means ever.

Berto E-Puert-O Wiggins
By: Name
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 10:28pm

Berto E-Puert-O
Wiggins wiggin out
Lance last dance
Thor Saves Le Tour
Hincapie Toppin Off
and next year it will be
All Sax-O All Schlex

Contador V Cancellara --- OTRA PREGUNTA
By: Craig Hummer
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 10:21pm

I am frankly disgusted by the suspicions, the accusations and the absolute slander levelled at my favorite rider in the TOUR.

Myself and Phil and Paul make NO money out of any of this. In fact we are broke. Lance made us money for awhile and now, Alberto is just beginning to replace Lance as the main event.

We want to squeeze LOTS of ad revenue out of the little fellow, but you haters on NYVELOCITY keep saying nasty, nasty things anout our little Alberto, him of the gun shot, him of the small legs and the big head and the special bike.

I think we should all allow Alberto the respect he needs to emulate Lance and stop lambasting him. He's a nice, nice guy, a real good rider and he is going to be the main event for VERSUS in the near future.

So stop hating on him! Please, I beg you. Phil and Paul are mad with you all, you're just so cynical about Alb. He's a great little rider, really and to accuse him of taking dope or EPO is plain not NICE!! It's down mean.
You're all spoilsports.

I will personally contact Alb by TWITTER and tell him all about these horrible accusations levelled aAt his highness on the Alpes.

So just shut up and watch VERSUS and buy the products and services that we sell you and stop saying nasty things about Alb. Prgressive Insurance, Specialized bikes, Encyte Mail Enhancement, Hair Growth (Bosley) and Cadilac Cars. Buy, buy, buy and please be nice!!!

Americans at the Tour in 2 yrs
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 9:40pm

Well Frankie, since you asked, this Stage 14 163rd place finish is dedicated to my baby momma and love of my life Kristina Marie Claudette. I'd particularly like to thank my sponsors. The Trek SRAM Bontrager Speedplay machine held together really well in the climbs, but coulda used a few turns in the back skewer for that hellacious bump in turn 6. I'd also like to thank the boys back in the trailer for the tune up they gave this little philly, she was crankin the wattage outta the cottage. And Of course I wouldn't be here today without Team RadioShack-Summers Eve-Skoal-Shop n Save who saw fit to bring me up from the depths of a humble trailer park beginning to having my faith in Him Above and spreading that love across the great people of Yer-up. Oh, and God bless the USA and our soldiers and the tiny white blanket wrapped version of baby Jesus. I just wake up every mornin thanking Lance Armstrong for his foresight and vision that 'merica needed 'mericans on bikes with American companies and regular guys like me who show up to get it on like Donkey Kong, ya know? Yeah, baby! America! Woooohooo! Go Team Radioshack - fcukin A, bubba!

Andy/Tech Dept please
By: Name
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 9:24pm

maybe those clever guys in CT can help answer? What are the estimated power, drag, VO2 numbers that Lemond and Sports Science are beginning to reference and the significance?

Is AC a PCer?

Do all the top10 riders?

Maybe the bikes are part pedal/part upper body ergo???

Or maybe they use altitude sim? Do they work?


Naw, I'm sure Contador is the
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 9:06pm

Naw, I'm sure Contador is the only one doing it. But then there's that one old guy on the podium......hhmmmmm. Strange.

Contador V Cancellara --- OTRA PREGUNTA
By: Phil and Paul and that MORON Hummer
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 9:04pm

Why is this Astana clone so very, very afraid of facing the real questions?

Velo News:

"I won't answer this question," Contador said through his translator when asked to explain his impressive climbing performance to Verbier.

Last Sunday Contador attacked a small group of favorites containing teammate Lance Armstrong 5.6km from the summit of the 8.8km climb to the summit finish of Verbier to win the stage and take command of the yellow jersey.

Moments later the determined reporter repeated his question.

"Otra pregunta (next question)," said the 26-year-old Contador.

When asked to reveal his V02 max, his maximum capacity to transport and use oxygen while racing, the Spaniard was evasive.

""Otra pregunta," said Contador again.

Contador V Cancellara
By: Non-doper Clean Racer
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:58pm

To all reading this chain ---

I found it very hard to believe Conty beating Cancellara!

The way he flew up that hilly section of the ITT made it seem that something fishy was going on. Also, to witness a 4 minute gap between Conty and Schleck and another 5 minute to LA seems quite strange to me.

Could Conty be as superhuman as we are led to believe or could he be juicing?

Well, a little, but Fabian
By: schmalz
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:50pm

Well, a little, but Fabian was second...

in 'berto's defense
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:45pm

"The time trial course was not as flat as many are, with one pass snaking upward for nearly two miles. Time trial specialists like David Millar of Britain said that helped favor the stronger riders (climbers?-ed) over the specialists."

that could legitimately explain the results, no?

LIfe imitating art? "Contador
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:38pm

LIfe imitating art?

"Contador disclosed afterward that his two-way radio had malfunctioned during his ride and that he had no idea how he was doing in the stage compared to those who had finished ahead of him."


12:48 was comedy
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:37pm

you troll....

12:48 was not an ironic
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:35pm

12:48 was not an ironic commentary on the responses one gets when posting on this site.

Mama's Boy
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:30pm

Contador fastest climb in tour history (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ua8ycqfc4ok/SmRlTTzWX0I/AAAAAAAABoU/CerjH1hJR2...)
and beats Cancellara in the TT - The dude weighs ~62 kilos. After he's busted, he'll probably join the rest of the "jugo de el muertos" @ Rock.

By: A
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:19pm

Lance has to lose phallometer points for announcing his new team on the verge of a teammates tour victory. He has to lose points for that. That is a major Richard move.

4:13 you idot
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:19pm

It's not narcissism. It's an ironic comment on the responses that one gets when posting on NYVC. Even a RadioShack wearing fred would get that.

take that weak arse shyte back to team RadioShack

By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:14pm

Has a hip replacement. Would make anybody slower.
As for Berto, they are sure to poke him full of holes until something is found, or, until they bleed him to the point of anemia. Which will come first?

right on mikeweb
By: hillbilly
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:11pm

and fabian's "observations" about the motorcycles helping AC were, ah, interesting as well. way too much whining/crap in this tour, starting right away with Columbia and going straight through.

It is a whole new level of
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 8:03pm

It is a whole new level of NYVC narcissism for people to think anyone gives a shit about their im conversations. Shame on you.

Alberto did not walk up the
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:58pm

Alberto did not walk up the climb. He did the Humpty Hump.

Sponsor announcement
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:55pm

So livelame couldn't wait another week to announce the RadShaq deal? He had to over shadow his "teammate's" impending triumph in Paris?

So he really must've wanted to stick it to the Borats AND AC in one fell swoop.

-5 phallometer points is my recommendation...

Lemond's article
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:48pm

Here's Lemond's article on AC's climbing acumen in Le Monde, translated by Google: http://tinyurl.com/noynwu.

The meat of it:

Sunday 19 July, during the climb to Verbier, Alberto Contador has established a speed record: he walked the 8.5 km climb (7.5% average slope) in 20 min 55. Not a rider of the Tour had risen so quickly. According to the latest data published by the former Festina trainer and specialist in performance, Antoine Vayer, in Libération, the Spanish rider would have required a VO2 max (maximal oxygen consumption) of 99.5 ml / min / kg to produce the effort.
To my knowledge, this is a figure that has never been achieved by any athlete in any sport...

But wait, there's more....
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:32pm

Him: please no spoilers -- can't watch until late tonight.
me: ok
Him: Good luck in race today -- I'm def out.
me: I posted (and removed your name) our exchange this morning about team names on NYVC.
Him: nice
me: we were slammed for being cat 4s and homosexuals.
Him: Of course we were.
me: of course
The tubular I rode on Sunday is a little soft.
Do they tend to soften up...
Or is there something wrong with it?
Sent at 3:27 PM on Thursday
Him: I'm not taking the bait
me: no really...
Him: Do I look like I was born yesterday?
me: now you're just being obtuse
Him: Fuck you, Dufresne.
me: thanks, Red
Him: Okay, swallowing my pride:
They take air in exactly the same way a clincher does.
me: Now was that so hard...
Him: I feel like you're fucking with me.
me: I'm gonna post this on NYVC

next question
By: fast n furious
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:31pm

"Otra Pregunta" indeed . . .

Well, maybe Berto and Lance
By: schmalz
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:24pm

Well, maybe Berto and Lance can bond together over how much they dislike Greg Lemond...


I had my money on the new
By: Mac
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:16pm

I had my money on the new squad being Team Motel 6/Cialas. Presented by Vagisil... I hope Nads can get a piece of the sponsorship action...Could it be high time for Summers Eve to get in our the sponsorship action(?) It could be a natural...

Berto goes down and no one
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 7:09pm

Berto goes down and no one else. Why, that would be like DiLuca going down a the Giro and no one....wait, shit.

WS 2:38,
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:40pm

Well done!

Dan told you
By: wonderthis
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:40pm

today he passes one worthless Schleck, Saturday the other and Sunday AC gets busted with a Metaphoric Frame Pump in the front wheel called CERA....

Go ahead Puke again , LA wins numer 8 (remeber Max in his arms giving you the finger...) either before the finish or once they bust the 5'9" 141lb sudden TT champion...

Conti's Chimera
By: fast n furious
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:38pm

News Flash - this just in - Conti's fantastic performance on today's TT was brought by his decision to ride the race with his Chimera. News reports are claiming that his vanishing twin rode the entire first 15K of the race, leaving Conti to pedal only the last 30K!

Radio Shack is proud to
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:38pm

Radio Shack is proud to announce a special re-introduction of the first PC (then known as the TRS-80), called the Shackstrong FRS-10. Complete with a 1274MB hard drive, 7MB of RAM, and a Lance Armstrong-themed mousepad, for a limited time only, buyers will also receive a coupon for a year's supply of EPO at 20 i.u. per kilogram of body weight (at 3x per week dosage).

Free Floyd Landis
By: fast n furious
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:30pm

Free Floyd Landis!

By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:29pm

2:00 - i was wondering the same thing when he went from lounging on the beach in his euro-mankini to winning the Giro TT with almost zero training for that race (he had what, a couple of days to prepare for the Giro in 2008!?)

Off Topic Landis
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:28pm

But how is Floyd Landis so slow now? 10mins down on GC at Cascade does not add up even off the dope...

By: fast n furious
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:24pm

I have heard of "burger shacks", "beer shacks", and even "love shacks", but who names an electronics store "radio shack"? Its so WWII . . . . get with it already. Maybe Lance will ride with one of their build-it-yourself radios and won't hear jack from the team car . . . old skool . . .

one answer
By: fast n furious
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:21pm

Dear Superhumanism, although I am certain that your questions was rhetorical, the answer is "better dope" . . . otherwise, no way skinny climber conti takes meaty spartacus in that TT . . . .

Radio Shack to sell
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:13pm

Radio Shack to sell Realistic(tm) Livestrong bento boxes with built-in AM/FM radio and digital compass. It's about time!

By: Unblemished
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:00pm

How does AC beat a "full gas" Spartacus and the big TTers on a flatish stage? How does AC's power/cross section top theirs? Just wondering.

Limited edition Trek-Team
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 6:00pm

Limited edition Trek-Team Radio Shack Bikes! Seriously, this is getting worse than NASCAR...

The Lancie Shackies!
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:53pm

"Now every Fred in America's gonna be rocking RadioShack kits."

I have seen them already in Central Park. I call them "the shackies"

By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:47pm

glad you deleted the bit about how much you love doing each other

To 1:21
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:31pm

I always thought that Cat1s were not allowed to comment on this site. If they did, Dan would track them by ther IP address and then send it in to Alan for a license downgrade. You get one pass and after that its an automatic downgrade to Cat3. Cat 2s get 4 comments a year (ussually the Cat2 eye for the Cat3/4 guy comments). Cat 3s get pretty much unlimited comments and the 4/5s are the sites bread and budda!

To 1:12
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:21pm

You have slipped into my trap. I am a Cat. 1 and you, sir, are a Cat. 6. commentator.

Yo Momma wears a RadioShack Kit!

Now every Fred in America's
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:13pm

Now every Fred in America's gonna be rocking RadioShack kits. Thanks for making our sport classy Lance.....

Unfortunately you guys are
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:12pm

Unfortunately you guys are cat 4 with the jokes too. Fortunately schmalz is at least cat 2, maybe 1...

Transfer News
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 5:05pm

Chris Horner & Evie Stevens to Garmin-Slipstream for 2010

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:52pm

Love the blog. I have recommended it to all of my friends, so you might see one or two extra hits today.

By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:50pm


What made Nike "Just Do it" (Not)

Chico's Bail Bond's powered by Taco Bell would have been better.

IM exchange this morning
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:48pm

between my teammate and I - two excitable Cat 4's..

Him: I hope I can get there (Rockleigh)
me: TeamRadioShack misses a certain panache....
Him: Don't count on me
Yeah, I saw that.
I was thinking Google/Livestrong
7:13 AM Team Radio Shack . . .
me: A classic
Him: Hmm. Kinda like, "Team Rockport Shoes."
7:14 AM me: Team Bass Pro Shops
Him: Team Reader's Digest.
me: Team Parade Magazine
7:15 AM Him: Team Anbesol
me: Team Wart-B-Gone
7:16 AM Him: Team Tampax
This is a good list
Let's send to Livestrong.com
me: Team Dollar Store
7:17 AM Him: That Onion article is great
me: I just sent an email that you should have a field day with.
Him: Team The Clapper
me: Team Billy May RIP
7:18 AM Him: What's the name of the blanket-thing with sleeves?
Team that
me: Team Snuggie
Him: there you go
me: Team Kenmore
Him: Team LADY Kenmore
7:19 AM me: Team Nair
Him: Team Fixodent
7:20 AM I won't be provoked by your e-mail
7:21 AM me: Team Petland
Team Petland Discoutns
7:22 AM Him: Team Tidy Cat
me: Team Braniff
7:23 AM Calling for rain JUST IN TIME for tonight's race...
Him: gotta hop
hope to see you later
me: Go Team Roomba!!!
Him: nice
me: later

At least I'm not working at
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:46pm

At least I'm not working at Radio Shack.

Radio Shack? How about Team
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:42pm

Radio Shack? How about Team Wafflehouse or Amgen/Livestrong sounds catchy..

One more thing: Liggetts a douche.

12:29 & 12:34 - Scheck's are Luxembourgians/ "Lumberghs???
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:42pm

Lumbergians: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go ahead and agree to suck on the TT today"


Luxembourg is not the Netherlands (Dutch) nowhere near the Netherlands!

Contador as a teammate
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:40pm

Schmalz - As far as Contador as a teammate, didn't he make some interesting remarks last year when Levi beat him in the ITT at the Vuelta? That being said, I generally agree that he is getting an unfair rep due to the internal politices at AstanaStrong.

I am sure Vino will happily ride in support of Contador next year . . .

Where do you work, Saxo
By: schmalz
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:40pm

Where do you work, Saxo Bank?

Thanks DS, but they have the
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:40pm

Thanks DS, but they have the VS. live video blocked at work.


Pass the Duchy?
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:38pm

Pass the Duchy?

You can watch video on
By: schmalz
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:38pm

You can watch video on Versus.com

Love the blog...
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:38pm

Absolutely love this blog!! It's so hard to find things written in English about the Tour that don't have a horrible pro-Lance bias. I used to be big Lance fan, but now I find him selfish, self-centered, a poor teammate and sore loser. Not to mention that it's really obnoxious how he owns the Tour media...
Alberto, on the other hand, has had to deal with a lot of BS this Tour and I'm hoping on the Champs Elysees he doesn't just go with the pistol shot but sticks his middle finger to Lance, Levi, Kloden, Bruyneel, and the hordes of Lance-o-philes out there.

Dutch?! They're from the
By: schmalz
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:37pm

Dutch?! They're from the Grand Duchy.

Schleck's aren't Dutch
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:37pm

They're Luxembourgians or Luxembourgish or something.

Team Radio Shack
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:36pm

Kind of like Team Dollar Stores.

So, today...
By: mikeweb
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:37pm

...AC proved - for about the fifth time, BTW - that he is and deserves to be the team leader.

When will Phil & Paul and livelame start to realize this fact?

"Carlos Sastre's fancy P4 should have a stamp based paint job, as he is surely mailing this TT performance in."

"Lance finishes 15th, losing 1:26, maybe he's saving himself for 2011?"

Pure gold...

(God I wish I could WATCH the race instead of following it on the bloody letour.fr java app thingy...)

No "best drool" competition?
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:34pm

It was close! Tony Martin's was quite viscous with a lovely string dangling from his chin. Andy's was a little more drippy but still had some weight and stringy-ness to it.

Very disappointed there wasn't any huge build up of "Fabian Froth"(tm) at the end. Cleatrly he didn't have his best.

Photo finish: Tony Martin for "Most aggressive drool"

Kloden was done
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:34pm

Kloden was done regardless.....

Is the yellow jersey supposed to wait on the dang domestiques (I can't think of a time LA ever did), cause I bet you a bag of blood that the dutch couple would have attacked anyway.

How's it dubious? He has been
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:32pm

How's it dubious? He has been the best stage race rider since he won the tour in 2007?
So Horner is in on it too?

another excellent post! long
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:31pm

another excellent post! long live the Tour day Schmalz!!

That part when the Schlecks
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:29pm

That part when the Schlecks were holding hands before the start was too weird......eeewwwww.

The bloody Dutch!!!

How much do Phil/Paul/Bobke get paid...?
By: Wheelsucker
Thu, 07/23/2009 - 4:26pm

to tow the Armstrong line. Is there anybody on this website who races that would blame anyone but themselves if they can't hold a wheel on an incline late in a race?

Yet Contador is the "bad Guy" for Kloden's deficiencies at the latter end of the stage.

This all out bias against Contador is really disturbing. If Lance did this it would be "Oh what a heroic figure Lance is!"

As other's have said and you point out here. Contador has a un-blemished Phallometer as far as I'm concerned and told the "powers that be" I am my own man and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way to your next (failed) endeavor to beat me next year.

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