Dan Schmalz’s Turkey Race Report

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CRCA Turkey Race 11/20/2004

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

@##=#<1,r>@##=#Have you ever had one of those dreams where you show up to high school nude? OK, it seemed I may have been about the only one involved in the little competition for the prize for nastiest outfit. There were some other suspicious looking kits out there, but cold weather brings out the weird clothes and I couldn’t tell if people were in on the deal.

Maybe I didn’t publicize it enough, or maybe people were worried about messing up their pro contracts that stipulate that they must be properly attired at all times, even in a race in NOVEMBER, that is for POULTRY; never matter, I will now try to extract the $50 gift certificate from the wonderful people at Bici Imports. Enjoy the bonus photo taken at the race. Suckers.

November

November is for beer and football; bike racing is very far from my mind. I like to begin the training year anew with the Turkey race, so I could care less how the race goes. Does this make me a bad person?

Apparently, some people did want to race today; I cheerfully watched as they disappeared up the road.

I chatted with people at the rear of the race. I did one effort to aid the lone Remax rider who was trying to stem the never ending flow of Visit Britain jerseys. Poor fellow.

Schmalz Race report

Like I’ve said before… I guess I’ll go with a 1 because it’s November and who cares? Oh, and a 10 is the highest level of suck.

(Ed.’s note: Perhaps some of the contestants were one race too early? Also, despite the fact that every other contest in the history of man has disqualified the judges from winning the prize, we’re going to make an exception here. We all know no one’s more deserving.)

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