schmalz João edition

Prodigal pro returns

 Normally when I do later season races in Prospect Park, I will enter the master’s race as they are calmer races, I stand a better chance of doing well in a race of my more mature peers and I get to write pithy comments about us racing to stay ahead of the Grim Reaper’s Reynolds 531 scythe (masters racers appreciate more traditional materials for the implements that grant eternal rest). For Saturday’s race, I eschewed my normal circuits with the bingo crowd to join the Pro/1/2/3 race. Normally that moniker (Pro1/2/3) means a bunch of cat threes getting pummeled by a pack of cat twos and a handful of cat ones or the occasional continental pro—but mostly the only "pro" thing about these races are the rare instances when racers fall to the back of the pack and leak urine all over the asphalt of the recreational jewel of Brooklyn. This morning’s race was special however, as we were joined by a bona fide Pro Tour professional bike racer.

If you’ve never heard of João Correia of the Cervelo Test Team, you are scary because you’ve probably been living in a Unabomber style shack for the last year. His comeback to the highest level of professional cycling at the age of 35 after a long absence and subsequent weight gain has made him a popular interview subject for almost every magazine, web site, blog or bulk email that deals with cycling (he even talked to us, for crying out loud). He is the Charles Nelson Reilly of the professional peloton: affable, available for chats and able to absolutely rock an ascot if he had to.

So when the opportunity to test myself against the convivial chuckling guest star of the Pro Tour presented itself, how could I resist? The race sold out days begore the registration closed, which made me think I wasn’t alone in my desire to see what our returning Euro Pro had in his legs. Of course, this racerly curiosity would put Joao in a slightly untenable situation. If he were to show up and try to rip the race apart, he would be accused of being the big bad pro fish in a tiny pond. If he were to show up and take it easy, he would have to deal with the complaints from Cervelo World Headquarters about the piles of resumes faxed in because 98 cat threes had beat him in a race in Brooklyn.

I, of course, planned on being one of those cat threes because I like a challenge, and because I’ve found a really awesome font for my cover letter. My plan was to get across to moves and hope for the best. The race moved along at a very park race pace, with furious bits of action followed by Five Borough Tour-esque sections of gridlock. To be honest, with all the people there, it was pretty difficult to follow the action. I would put in an effort on the front, and by the time I had recovered at the back of the race, any number of things could’ve happened: a break could’ve got away, the race might’ve split, or we could’ve taken a wrong turn and ended up in Long Island—it was difficult to tell. While my plans were to try and sneak my way into a break, I’m sure João’s plans for the race were as follows: don’t crash, tolerate schmalz’s inane comments, avoid crashing, get some miles in, and finally to sidestep any crashes. Over the course of the race I had even convinced myself that I was a Kmart version of João—I race for a team sponsored by a bike company, my socks and gloves match, I write an online journal read by upwards of dozens of people, and people have a tough time saying or spelling my last name. But I think the difference between the racing I do and the racing João does is similar to the difference between a suburban basement game of ping pong and Wimbledon—sure they both involve knocking balls over a net, but the scale and magnitude are completely different. In one case, you’re competing to best your siblings and neighbors, and in the other you have the eyes of the world upon you while you compete against top notch talent.

Ball-knocking metaphors aside, the race whizzed along at a pace that made breaking away very difficult, and a field sprint seemed inevitable. In fact, I started my lead out bartering with about 4 laps to go, and was able to work out a mutually beneficial arrangement with another team and our own (sorry, the parties involved cannot be named, as deals made on the road fall under a strict non-disclosure agreement). We rolled towards the line, deals in place and planning on a field sprint.

Of course, this wasn’t the case at the front of the race. Dan Zmolik of AXA and João had got away with just under three laps to go. Wilson Vasquez of Mengoni had bridged to them and they were working furiously at the front to stay away. Back in the crowd at the rear of the race, many of us had no idea that they had escaped; and as we headed towards the finishing line, I couldn’t figure out why neither AXA nor Mengoni were assembling a lead out. Obviously with teammates up the road, they weren’t going to add any speed to the race and I had no idea there was anyone away, so I went to the front for a lead out—blissfully unaware that the race was 20 seconds ahead of us. I did my time at the front, and pulled off in time to miss the inevitable pile up that happened before the sprint. I rolled to the finish area to find out that the guy everyone had one eye on had somehow escaped our spiteful clutches and finished third behind Zmolik and Wilson. I could go ahead and say that he shouldn’t be picking on us poor category riders, but I will confide that it was fun to have a Cervelo test Team racer in our midst, and that it was fun knocking balls around with him.

schmalz race report

A six for being dumb, but a three for basking in pro-ness.

The head song of the day was "Anarchy in the UK" by the Sex Pistols.

17 Comments

Robin Helmet

I am pretty sure João’s “goal” for the race was to see some friends, have some fun and support a local race. He did grab the $100 preme with one lap to go, so that might be in there too. Looks like he handled his untenable situation fairly well.

Damien Clamp

I can now say I raced against a real euro pro! Joaa handled it perfectly. Good for him. He chilled in the pack for most of the race and then showed his class late. Fun race – except that crash. Seemed like 6 or 7 went down.

???

Are we forgeting that Tyler Hamilton was racing in PP only 2 season ago? Putting aside his issues, he was in PP and rode at a pretty high level in Europe. Not sure why guys are so excited about the Joao siting. The guy used to ride Gimbels and PP almost every weekend in the off season only a year ago.

Florian Tigweld

Mike McCarthy was regular, that was never fun, or fun, depending how you look at it. Chan McRae did a club race a few years ago, but if you are cat 3 there are few chances to ride with a seasoned pro. Joao put in a ton of Euro race miles since last season on Bissell, and has the pro kit, is home grown…it’s different. If you don’t see that, there is not much to say.

???

Homegrown as in he was born and raised in Potugal, raced at the top level in europe way before most of us raced our first Cat 5 race… I get it and its a super cool story… We would all love to live the life of a Euro pro for just one year. My point is that its not like Fabian C was pulling the field in PP. Joao was a regular in the local races and on Gimbels just last year. He is now just a bit lighter and faster and has traded in a Bissell Kit for a Cervelo Kit.

Anyway, best of luck to him. I would love to know how he rates the R3 to the Paris and Dogma of Bissell.

Niels Internal Routing

I’m calling troll bullsh– on 1:22. Joao shows up in Prospect after six months riding with a ProTour team – we get it, you’re not impressed – and your one question is, How is the R3 different from the Dogma?

That’s an Excitable Cat 4 question if there ever was one.

Quit masquerading as some jaded rouleur

Remi Clamp

Have we forgotten that tyler hamilton did was proven to have done drugs, served a ban, and then doped again?

Ernesto Tubie

“Little John”, first off…
2nd, Cervelo is a Pro Continental Team…NOT a PRO TOUR TEAM….

I only wished he attacked on the 2nd lap, instead of 2 to go…

Good Luck at Cali, hope Theo wins a few over Cavendick!

Bartolo Rim

DID attack during the race bunch of times, but could not get away and he did not attack with 2 to go, he followed Zmolik’s attack.

Ernesto Torque

LOLZ “Cervelo is a Pro Continental Team…NOT a PRO TOUR TEAM….”

YOU WANT ANY SIDE ORDERS WITH THAT MEATLOAF? MOM!!!

Julien Saddlebag

Who would have guessed Wilson bridged to a move like that? Kinda like when Cipollini won Gent-Wevelgem in 2002
…hmmm…

Roleur De Chaine

speaking of sex pistols, did y’all know malcolm mclaren recently died? har4d to believe that guy was in his 60’s!

we’re all getting old….

next stop: recumbent bikes, primal wear jerseys, and metamucil in water bottles.

Comments are closed.