schmalz’s log 2013 part 13

These are the times

Hello and greetings from my athletic imprisonment in the basement of my home. As of late, temperatures have plummeted the point where my hands and toes would surely turn to glass and shatter within their neoprene casings if I were to venture outdoors for the briefest of forays into Northern New Jersey. This means that I have retreated to my subterranean cyclo-bunker in order to incubate my mightiness for the coming year’s pretend bike racing season. The situation is not ideal.

Like any detainee, I am trying to make the best of my situation. I am afforded a small television that I can watch recorded programs on, but I am rapidly working my way through the backlog of archived Bravo content. I can sometimes supplement my entertainment options with a smuggled iPad, but access can be sporadic. Oftentimes, I am reduced to (shudder) live midday programming. These are among the darkest of my days in the bunker.

On a brighter note, my toiling is coming along well. I am now about to withstand upwards of 90 minutes of voluntary forced exertion at a time. I am optimistic that these efforts along with good dietary behavior will strengthen my mightiness upon my release back into the world. I am cautiously optimistic.

I am very much looking forward to the date of my release. I long to feel the sunshine upon my knees again. I know in my heart that if I apply myself, I will be a better pretend bike racer when I am finally able to return to the outside world. It’s these thoughts that get me through my time in the basement. I will stay strong.

Roman’s Beer Corner

We are occasionally allowed non-spirit based intoxicants here, and Roman send me recommendations to make of the commissary. This week’s recommendation is Great Divide’s Yeti Imperial Stout, with a near spirit 9.5% alcohol percentage, which really helps to make the days in the bunker go faster.
 

 

26 Comments

Jeff King

Dan my man. I think you need to start cross training somehow. Can’t you go for a hike? Or lift something? Plyos? 90 minute training sessions will end a season before you even hit the road.

Reply
Axel O-Ring

Solid beer pick, Thumbs up

You rode stationary for 90 minutes? I’m remembering my days in the 80’s listening to “Pop Will Eat Itself” on rollers in the garage, the rain pouring down outside. 45 minutes was pushing it.

Reply
Fred Nitche

i sort of thought gran fondos, unless they cover some truly amazing terrain, appealed primarily because they give “normal” people the chance to ride the same roads as the pro’s. BK GF would be much more attractive if you could finish your 60km ride and then watch the pro’s do their finish (or better yet, several finishing circuits) while cramming pancakes in your face at a nearby eatery. i do hope this works out for dieter so that he will stay in the game and try to promote big RACES, but the draw of a GF attached to an amateur race is unclear to me.

by the way, i’m really not sure what the contador/schleck/armstrong CAPTCHA distinction is meant to be at this point. i just say “armstrong” because he’s lance.

Reply
Loic Stiff

HEY DAN AND ANDY, IS POSSSIBLE TO GET REAL NEW ADS ON THE CLASSIFIEDS SECTION ????, EVERYTHING IS OLD FROM LAST YEAR, SEEMS LIKE IS NOT UP-LOADING THE NEW ADS OR ITEMS FOR SALE, THANKS…

Reply
Quentin Internal Routing

Strava tells everyone that you did not achieve anything in your deep down and dark man cave basement training camp, Dan. Peddle harder!

Reply
Notorius

My cats make full use of the cat box while I’m on my trainer. This makes for excellent practice for maintaining my focus. . .

Reply
Jeff King

Not trying to sell you on crossfit. Crossfit is all wrong for cycling. I just meant that the rollers will mess up your head. You could get outside and do something. You have to be able to move your body, even when you aren’t sitting on a bike!

Reply
Kevin Helmet

Hey Dan, classifieds adds are not working well I guess, no new adds posted and all is old ads stuff, I posted twice some stuff I have for sale and nothing coming out, I appreciate your help on it thanks.

Reply

Write a Reply or Comment

Your email address will not be published.