My super secret source (it’s name starts with a “b” and ends with “ikereg.com”) tells me the following races are going on this weekend for your spandex covered rear ends to enjoy:

Sat, there is the CRCA Lou Maltese Memorial p/b Finish Line Physical Therapy (2015) in CP.

Sun there is the not so local Emrick Boulevard Criterium in PA and if that isn’t far enough away for you to be able to say “Yeah, I won a race. It was while I was away at summer camp, you wouldn’t know the race name”, you could try your hand at the Course de Evesham-Marlton-Evesham in southern NJ.